Snails on Speed

(to the tune of "Girls On Film" by Duran Duran)

See them walking swords in hand through the dungeon by torchlight
Ears straining for the sounds leaking out to the night
They walk right up to an iron-bound door
A rough-shod foot kicks it to the floor
To the floor
And they spot a glist'ning movement in a frenzy in the depths of the room

Snails on speed
Snails on speed
Snails on speed
Snails on speed

Cleric wizard warrior and thief dive for cover
As the invertebrates rush out into the hall
Suddenly the elf has fled
As the curses fly; there's a chicken on his head
On his head
And the halfling wonders why he even bothers trying to run

Snails on speed (how many treasures)
Snails on speed
Snails on speed (who wants to help me)
Snails on speed

Slimy trails shining as the party's surrounded
Hearts pounding loud, arms swinging their swords at the foe
The wizard fires his napalm staff
The thief steps back and has a laugh
Has a laugh
As the cleric finds out they're humongous, ancient, and enraged

Snails on speed (they've got us surrounded)
Snails on speed
Snails on speed (how many treasures)
Snails on speed
Snails on speed (who wants to help me)
Snails on speed
Snails on speed (who's got a potion)
Snails on speed

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