// I'm lazy, so I'll set the number of quotations once (remembering there's a number 0) var quotnum = 501; // Now I create the quotation array... var sds = new Array(quotnum); // ...and load it with quotations, one per line sds[0]="I am not a thug. I am not a fanatic. I am a vitamin supplement to justice."; sds[1]="Sometimes you have to go everywhere to get back where you started."; sds[2]="I'm just burning doing the Neutron Dance."; sds[3]="I'm the urban spaceman, babe, and I'm making out; I'm all about."; sds[4]="I'm the urban spaceman, baby, I can fly; I'm a supersonic guy."; sds[5]="It's still not weird enough for me."; sds[6]="Absorbs ten times its weight in excess reality."; sds[7]="From my heart and from my hand,
why don't people understand
my intentions?"; sds[8]="Oh well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes."; sds[9]="Not available in stores."; sds[10]="Getting there is half the fun."; sds[11]="Sponsored by Warriors International, the first choice for all your metahuman security needs."; sds[12]="The magic's in the music, and the music's in his helmet."; sds[13]="I never metahuman I didn't like."; sds[14]="Rock and Roll Refugee"; sds[15]="Inverting insert cliches since 1998."; sds[16]="Sometimes I go into my own little world... but that's okay, they know me there."; sds[17]="...And starring Marshall Mathers as the Beaver."; sds[18]="It's OK to do the right thing, as long as you don't get caught."; sds[19]="Something appealing, Something appalling,
Something for everyone: A crossover tonight!"; sds[20]="I don't have a big ego. I'm way too cool for that."; sds[21]="If my sanity asks, I was never here."; sds[22]="At the moment, I'd much prefer a petty, mundane life than the one I have. You want to trade?"; sds[23]="Bots to the left of me, boomers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you."; sds[24]="V&V and BGC and little lamsy divey..."; sds[25]="'Cause there's one thing I know turns a man of sixty
Back into a child of six
Watching Dunninger, Houdini,
Or Doug -- the magic man,
Up To His Old Tricks"; sds[26]="Not approved by the Comics Code Authority."; sds[27]="Shootin' at the walls of heartache, bang bang! I am the Warrior!"; sds[28]="I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque."; sds[29]="How psycho? Psycho interesting or psycho hide the knives?"; sds[30]="And so, having re-re-disposed of the monster, exit our hero, stage left..."; sds[31]="I'm all for dramatic irony myself, but this is a little ridiculous."; sds[32]="Yeah, I've both been there and done that."; sds[33]="Though this be madness, yet there is method in't..."; sds[34]="I have looked into the abyss, and the abyss looked also back into me. Neither of us liked what we saw."; sds[35]="Mate vigorously with the rules."; sds[36]="Mr. McGee, don't make me play the Partridge Family.
You wouldn't like me when I play the Partridge Family."; sds[37]="This is what we call the 'denouement'. That's French for 'when we beat up the supervillain.'"; sds[38]="It's a 'magical' land. I think 'magical' is ancient Greek for 'pain in the butt'.
-- Bun-Bun"; sds[39]="Everything goes better with Ninja Hell Commandos."; sds[40]="You can never have too many evil twins."; sds[41]="The future is here. It's just not evenly distributed yet."; sds[42]="We've secretly replaced Misato Katsuragi with Nodoka Saotome. Let's see if anyone notices."; sds[43]="Grant me the power to bring the world evolution!
-- Darwinian Girl Utena"; sds[44]="There is always one more imbecile than you counted on."; sds[45]="The voices in my head keep whispering the lyrics to Hotel California."; sds[46]="Segmentation fault in C Minor"; sds[47]="I see dead people...
I should probably hide those bodies."; sds[48]="Initiating mallard linearization."; sds[49]="Sarcasm is just one more service we offer."; sds[50]="There is no spork."; sds[51]="What Would Belldandy Do?"; sds[52]="Never spoil a good day by getting the crap beat out of you."; sds[53]="The Crimson Lizard will return."; sds[54]="So by 'all the cool people' you mean you, the Pope, and the reincarnation of Julius Caesar, right?"; sds[55]="I don't have issues. I have a subscription."; sds[56]="Can werebear Care Bears give the Werebear Stare?"; sds[57]="I feel a brain wave or two coming in, and I intend to surf."; sds[58]="Memes are a hoax. Pass it on."; sds[59]="Louisiana back bay bunny bordelaise, a la Antoine"; sds[60]="Another Dopeless Hope Fiend"; sds[61]="Please send no angry e-mails. Angry e-mails never solve anything.
Send money."; sds[62]="An enemy is a successful person whose views oppose your own."; sds[63]="Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.
-- Matsuo Basho"; sds[64]="It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
-- Aeschylus"; sds[65]="If it's not Wong Tsing, it's an otter!"; sds[66]="Strange times call for strange heroes."; sds[67]="And do you think (fop that I am) that I could be the Scarlet Pumpernickel?"; sds[68]="Yes, we have no Nirvanas, we have no Nirvanas today."; sds[69]="This is the city. Los Angeles, California. Sometimes someone gets the urge to pet a small furry animal. That's my job. My name is Friday. I carry a badger."; sds[70]="Millions for nonsense, but not one cent for entropy!"; sds[71]="It's the classic story of a boy and his dogma."; sds[72]="This is the voice of world control."; sds[73]="Ph'nglui mglw'nafh 'BOB' D'lyeh* Wgah'nagl Dhobbz f'htagn."; sds[74]="We Await Silent Twister's Empire"; sds[75]="Projecting empaths -- you gotta feel sorry for them."; sds[76]="There's no substitute for incomprehensible good luck."; sds[77]="I aim to please, but I shoot to kill."; sds[78]="The worst thing about censorship is [DELETED FOR REASONS OF NATIONAL SECURITY]."; sds[79]="Strangeness is for the weird."; sds[80]="I've had fun before. This isn't it."; sds[81]="Mord says that Omar says that we are all unicorns anyway."; sds[82]="This is no ordinary fool you're dealing with."; sds[83]="Use an accordion, go to jail! That's the law!"; sds[84]="He is BOB!
Eager for fun!
He wears a smile.
Everybody run!"; sds[85]="The woods are wondrous here, but strange."; sds[86]="Would you like to play with fire, little boy? Would you like to play with BOB?"; sds[87]="Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.
-- Ovid (43 BC-AD 18)"; sds[88]="Send lawyers, guns, and money."; sds[89]="Life is a rock, and the radio rolled me."; sds[90]="Such predicaments, I must forge ahead..."; sds[91]="Eee ecky thump!"; sds[92]="I'll have you know I can kick butt in bunny slippers."; sds[93]="Reality is not a fixed entity."; sds[94]="Listen: Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time."; sds[95]="Sponsored by the Harvard University Memory Loss Clinic, established in 1952, 1967, and for the first time in 1981."; sds[96]="I want to be your sledgehammer."; sds[97]="Look! Up in the sky! It's a, it's a... Hmmm, what is it?"; sds[98]="Abnormal, paranormal, supernormal and just plain weird..."; sds[99]="There's no ride like this at Disneyland, baby!"; sds[100]="'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds."; sds[101]="Do not taunt happy fun metahuman."; sds[102]="Do you ever just want to teleport in, destroy some monsters, damage property, and teleport out?"; sds[103]="I am heavily armed, easily bored, and off my medication."; sds[104]="I am not a trained killer. I lead trained killers."; sds[105]="I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words."; sds[106]="The mind is the final battlefield. The stuff in between is just noise."; sds[107]="As long as we're going insane, we might as well go the whole way. A mere shred of sanity is of no value."; sds[108]="Because of heavy computing requirements we are currently using some of your unallocated brain capacity for backup processing. Please ignore any hallucinations, voices, or unusual dreams you may experience. Please avoid concentration intensive tasks until further notice. Thank you."; sds[109]="It's hard to predict the future when they keep changing the past."; sds[110]="Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change."; sds[111]="Outnumbered, yes. Outmaneuvered, maybe. Outclassed, never!"; sds[112]="NO! NO! Don't touch the plot contrivance switch!"; sds[113]="Time paradoxes will have given me a headache."; sds[114]="Brought to you by the people who made 'out of context' a household word."; sds[115]="Cry CHEEBLE! and unleash the hamsters of war!"; sds[116]="I'm not imaginary -- I'm ontologically challenged."; sds[117]="I'm a very dangerous fellow when I don't know what I'm doing."; sds[118]="I'm not touching that with a 10' snide remark."; sds[119]="As long as we're going insane, we might as well go the whole way.... that way we come outsane at the end."; sds[120]="Heroes have an infinite capacity for stupidity. Thus are legends born."; sds[121]="The cult of heroes is the cult of luck.
-- Louis-Ferdinand Celine"; sds[122]="Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
-- Barry Gehm"; sds[123]="Any technology, no matter how primitive, is magic to those who don’t understand it.
-- Florence Ambrose"; sds[124]="We are an impossibility in an impossible universe.
-- Ray Bradbury"; sds[125]="Exos Integro, Sugiliato Curatio, y Femellas Amo Cicatrix.
(Bones Knit, Bruises Heal, and Chicks Dig Scars.)"; sds[126]="This guy has more things wrong with him than fish-flavored soda."; sds[127]="ADVENTURE (n): Someone else, a long way off, in one hell of a fix."; sds[128]="Power is not revealed by striking hard or often, but by striking true.
-- Honore de Balzac"; sds[129]="Time it flows,
One way it goes,
Up your pants leg
And out your nose.
-- Mark Mothersbaugh"; sds[130]="There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
-- Hunter S. Thompson"; sds[131]="Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog."; sds[132]="I'm sure you're wondering why I tied a squrrel to a megaphone.
Well... Goodbye."; sds[133]="Build a giant wooden rabbit and drop it from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure."; sds[134]="...But when it comes to mind games, I like to play by free-form tournament rules."; sds[135]="It's not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line."; sds[136]="Chaos isn't really chaos if it isn't ordered part of the time."; sds[137]="For, look you, there is humour in all things, and the truest philosophy is that which teaches us to find it and to make the most of it.
-- W.S. Gilbert"; sds[138]="He don' know me vewy well, do he?"; sds[139]="Any sufficiently complex magic is indistinguishable from advanced technology."; sds[140]="Pardon me while I have a strange interlude.
-- Groucho Marx"; sds[141]="It takes an idiot to do cool things. That's why it's cool!
-- Haruhara Haruko"; sds[142]="Spring has sprung
The grass has ris
I wonder where the bad guys is."; sds[143]="Oh, why does the universe hate me?
-- G'Kar, Babylon 5"; sds[144]="'I don't believe anybody.'
'What a wonderful world you live in.'
'Yeah, well, the rent is cheap, the pay is decent and I get to make my own hours.'
-- Garibaldi and Franklin, Babylon 5"; sds[145]="Zathras is used to being beast of burden to other people's needs. Very sad life. Probably have very sad death, but at least there is symmetry.
-- Zathras, Babylon 5"; sds[146]="For those regarded as warriors, when engaged in combat the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior's only concern. Suppress all human emotion and compassion. Kill whoever stands in thy way, even if that be Lord God, or Buddha himself. This truth lies at the heart of the art of combat.
-- Hattori Hanzo"; sds[147]="Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati. (When all else fails, play dead.)"; sds[148]="We're neither chemists nor experienced soap makers, merely a bunch of crazy kids with three pounds of bacon and a dream."; sds[149]="Making egg rolls by moonlight
Frying dumplings by daylight
Making sure it all tastes right
It is the place called China Moon!"; sds[150]="If you're bleeding to death, say something witty.
If you're actually dying, say something deep."; sds[151]="Where Zen ends, ass-kicking begins. And that's your final lesson, Grasshopper."; sds[152]="In the shopping mall of the mind, he's in the toy department."; sds[153]="Been there, done that, got a whole closet of T-shirts."; sds[154]="Yippie Ki Yay, Mother Superior!"; sds[155]="Taking anything too seriously is as big a threat as not taking it seriously enough.
-- Berke Breathed"; sds[156]="They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
-- Carl Sagan"; sds[157]="When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
-- Thomas Szasz"; sds[158]="You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.
-- William Blake"; sds[159]="The only difference between a martyr and a messiah is getting caught."; sds[160]="This is what happens when unlimited Soviet power combines with enough Vodka to stun a mule."; sds[161]="War does funny things to people. Similarly, some people do funny things with war."; sds[162]="Where liberty dwells, there is my country."; sds[163]="And the moral of this story is:
The wise man's fabric of choice is Kevlar."; sds[164]="I reject your reality and substitute my own!
-- Adam Savage"; sds[165]="It doesn't matter where you're born,
it doesn't matter where you come from,
it matters where your head is at.
-- Gene Simmons"; sds[166]="Nothing we can do can change the past, but everything we do changes the future.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant"; sds[167]="Humor is just another defense against the universe.
-- Mel Brooks"; sds[168]="Yeah, we have heroes. They're like rats, but bigger and half of them are on fire.
-- Unnamed Paragon City resident"; sds[169]="Cylons is golden."; sds[170]="That which doesn't kill us has made a tactical error."; sds[171]="A great war is brewing in the ocean, and everywhere you turn, you sea anemone."; sds[172]="No power in the 'verse can stop me."; sds[173]="I was given the choice between sanity and creativity. I chose waffles."; sds[174]="I will stop at nothing to reach my objective, but only because my brakes are defective."; sds[175]="There's no such thing as 'overkill,' only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'"; sds[176]="This is your head. This is your head with an axe in it. Any questions?"; sds[177]="Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity.
-- Horace Mann"; sds[178]="Your object is to save the world, while still leading a pleasant life."; sds[179]="Sometimes there's a fine line between criminally abusive behavior and fun."; sds[180]="Your knowledge of American commercial slogans will not save you!"; sds[181]="It's very simple, Rose. Your friend with the ears and the smirk goes forward and backward in time. I go sideways."; sds[182]="Death poems
Are mere delusion --
Death is Death.
-- Toko"; sds[183]="Multi-dimensional causality always gives me a headache."; sds[184]="We are all born mad. Some remain so.
-- Samuel Beckett"; sds[185]="Fight crime. Shoot back."; sds[186]="I dance around and sing a song and know that I can do no wrong."; sds[187]="Beyond good and evil lies North Dakota."; sds[188]="They are a puckish band of rapscallions."; sds[189]="A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."; sds[190]="Okay, everybody in this room who's telekinetic, raise my hand."; sds[191]="You see, without that little doohicky, the universe stops."; sds[192]="Anything I do is purely coincidental."; sds[193]="Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense."; sds[194]="Uh, Sam, Ziggy says you're called Old Man Winters and there's an 85% chance you're here to stop those... pesky kids from foiling your plan?"; sds[195]="I'm not an immature adult, I'm a very mature child."; sds[196]="He had that rare weird electricity about him -- that extremely wild and heavy presence that you only see in a person who has abandoned all hope of ever behaving normally.
-- Hunter S. Thompson"; sds[197]="What's the point of being fascinatingly crazy, if you don't enrich the world with it?"; sds[198]="Eight gods there are I call my own:
Maiden, Warrior, Mother, and Crone,
Moments' Guardian, the Sun and her Bride,
And the Witch who soars at lightning's side."; sds[199]="Run where you will, oathbreaker,
You'll wish you never were born.
By priestess, mage and common man
You're thrice declared foresworn."; sds[200]="It's Sister Ginny's turn to throw the bomb!
The last one it was thrown by Brother Ron.
Mama's aim is bad and the aurors all know Dad,
So it's Sister Ginny's turn to throw the bomb!"; sds[201]="Media nox, obscura nox,
Crudelitas animarum,
Campana sonat duodecies"; sds[202]="Loca inferna in nocte,
Loca inferna in nocte,
Animae in nebula"; sds[203]="I can feel no sense of measure
No illusions as we take
Refuge in young man's pleasure
Breaking down the dreams we make
Real"; sds[204]="Upon this charge, cry God for England, Harry and Saint George!"; sds[205]="Darkness in the morning
Shadows on the land
Certain individuals
Aren't sticking to the plan.
-- Warren Zevon"; sds[206]="Gotta get the girl, kill the baddies, and save the entire planet.
-- Pop Will Eat Itself"; sds[207]="The master came to a yatai which was selling hot dogs. 'What do you want on your hot dog?' he was asked. 'Nothing,' he replied. Then the hot dog was enlightened."; sds[208]="We are the music-makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams."; sds[209]="Some people are like Slinkys. They serve no purpose, but they still make you smile when you push them down the stairs."; sds[210]="Kyrie eleison, down the road that I must travel
Kyrie eleison, through the darkness of the night
Kyrie eleison, where I'm going will you follow
Kyrie eleison, on a highway in the light"; sds[211]="Some came to sing, some came to pray,
Some came to keep the dark away."; sds[212]="No one will defeat me, no one can!
I command the lightning's hand!"; sds[213]="Midnight mare and blood red roan,
Fight to keep this land your own.
Sound the horn and call the cry,
How many of them can we make die!"; sds[214]="All you do is call me, I'll be anything you need."; sds[215]="And we heard him exclaim
As he started to roam:
'I'm a hologram, kids,
Please don't try this at home!'"; sds[216]="Hold the mayo... but pass the cosmic awareness, please!"; sds[217]="Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.
-- Edwin Hubbel Chapin"; sds[218]="Who is the greater foe?
It is always the one closest to where you live."; sds[219]="The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn."; sds[220]="There's a lady who's sure
All that glitters is gold,
And I'm hoping to sell her
Some jewelry."; sds[221]="I liked Occam's Razor so much, I bought the company."; sds[222]="'I do freelance law enforcement.'
'You mean you're a vigilante.'
'Only because no one will pay me!'"; sds[223]="Redemption happens."; sds[224]="Maiden, Warrior, Mother, Crone
Help us keep this land our own
Rover, Guardian, Hunter, Guide
With us now forever ride."; sds[225]="The south wind, oh hear it, we ride to the call
We follow the Guardian, the lord of us all
We follow the Warrior, the strong to defend
The new moon to fighters is ever a friend
With summer comes fighting, with summer our foes
And how we must thwart them the Guardian knows
The Warrior will give them no path but retreat
The Warrior and Guardian will bring their defeat.
-- The Shin'a'in Song of the Seasons"; sds[226]="Be thou trapped in thine own curse
Be thou caught in thine own wrong
Be thou burned by thine own flame
Be thou shattered by thy song"; sds[227]="To believe is to be strong. Doubt cramps energy. Belief is power."; sds[228]="Due to circumstances beyond my control,
I am master of my fate and captain of my soul."; sds[229]="He looks around, around
He sees angels in the architecture
Spinning in Infinity
He says, Hey, Hallelujah
-- Paul Simon, You Can Call Me Al"; sds[230]="Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.
-- John Keats"; sds[231]="My sense of god is my sense of outrage at the universe."; sds[232]="I continually marvel at the efficiency of the gods.
-- Kaylith MacRevan"; sds[233]="Every study of the gods, of everyone's gods, is a revelation of vengeance toward the innocent.
-- John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany"; sds[234]="To diverse gods
Do mortals bow;
Holy Cow, and
Wholly Chao."; sds[235]="God gave Noah the rainbow sign: No more water -- the fire next time!"; sds[236]="When your purpose in life is to entertain the gods, there's nothing to do but to put on a good show."; sds[237]="I just content myself dancing to the laughter of gods on fire."; sds[238]="I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors,
But I think that God has a sick sense of humor,
And when I die I expect to find him laughing....
-- Depeche Mode, Blasphemous Rumors"; sds[239]="Whom the gods would destroy they first give straight lines."; sds[240]="God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things.
Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever."; sds[241]="Invincibility is in oneself, vulnerability is in the opponent.
-- Sun Tzu"; sds[242]="Penguins is practically chickens."; sds[243]="Contrary to popular belief, penguins are not the salvation of modern technology. Neither do they throw parties for the urban proletariat."; sds[244]="I dreamed I dwelt in marble halls,
And woke to find it true;
I wasn't born for an age like this;
Was Smith? Was Jones? Were you?
-- George Orwell"; sds[245]="What does it matter to you
When you've got a job to do
You've got to do it well
You've got to give the other fellow hell!"; sds[246]="I am the wind to fill your sail
I am the cross to take your nail
A singer of these ageless times
With kitchen prose and gutter rhymes."; sds[247]="When I was a child, I spake as a child.
Now, I am a man, and I curse like a friggin' sailor."; sds[248]="I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."; sds[249]="Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.
-- Miyamoto Musashi, 1645"; sds[250]="The greatest warriors are the ones who fight for peace.
-- Holly Near"; sds[251]="Took my foot off the gas and man alive
I shoved it on down into overdrive."; sds[252]="They call me bad company, and I can't deny it."; sds[253]="I'll stand my ground
And I won't back down.
I'll walk right up to the gates of Hell
But I won't back down."; sds[254]="I'm a joker, I'm insane
And you cannot say my name..."; sds[255]="I'm about to lose control and I think I like it!"; sds[256]="The rabbits are coming, hooray, hooray!"; sds[257]="Fortunately, I always keep my feathers numbered for just such an emergency."; sds[258]="Awfully sporting of the little black duck, eh?"; sds[259]="Slight pause whilst I adjust my accoutrements."; sds[260]="I walk the maze of moments
But everywhere I turn to
Begins a new beginning
But never finds a finish....
-- Enya, Anywhere Is"; sds[261]="At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits."; sds[262]="The human spirit is a hard thing to kill, even with a chainsaw."; sds[263]="All things extant in this world, Gods of Earth, Gods of Heaven, let them be as they should. Thus shall it be."; sds[264]="The universe considers me its personal cat toy. Do you have any idea what it's like to go through life covered in cosmic cat spit?
-- J. Michael Straczynski"; sds[265]="The deeper that sorrow carves into your soul, the more joy it can contain.
-- Kahlil Gibran"; sds[266]="Of course I cheated. Scientists think magic is cheating, and mages think most forms of technology are cheating. I use both."; sds[267]="Chaos is King, and Magic is loose in the world."; sds[268]="In the darkness of future past
The Magician longs to see.
One chants out between two worlds,
'Fire, walk with me.'"; sds[269]="Magic is simply the art of getting results."; sds[270]="Magical things have a tendency to pull annoying abilities out of their butts and make your life miserable."; sds[271]="The first rule of magic is simple. Don't waste your time waving your hands and hoping when a rock or a club will do.
-- McCloctnik the Lucid"; sds[272]="Show me the magic. C'mon. Show me the magic."; sds[273]="I may be gullible, but at least I have this magic rock!"; sds[274]="It is better to light a flamethrower than to curse the darkness."; sds[275]="Why, this is the fic, nor am I out of it."; sds[276]="Aut vincere aut mori."; sds[277]="I do whatever the voices in my wife's head tell me to."; sds[278]="Key wants her fire back."; sds[279]="The covenant that holds the world together calls for opposites: the dark and the light, uniformity and chaos, bodied and disembodied."; sds[280]="My obvious charms and god-like powers always dazzle the simple ordinary folk."; sds[281]="Hasta la pizza, baby."; sds[282]="Humor is just another defense against the universe.
-- Mel Brooks"; sds[283]="some people never go crazy.
what truly horrible lives
they must lead.
-- Charles Bukowski"; sds[284]="what matters most is
how well you
walk through the
fire.
-- Charles Bukowski"; sds[285]="And if I laugh at any mortal thing,
'Tis that I may not weep.
-- Lord Byron"; sds[286]="And death shall have no dominion."; sds[287]="I poke badgers with spoons."; sds[288]="Unable to save the day: File is read-only."; sds[289]="Dammit, Jim! I'm a curmudgeon, not a flying nun!"; sds[290]="If all the world's a stage, who is sitting in the audience?"; sds[291]="Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity.
-- Horace Mann"; sds[292]="I speak all your Earth languages. Except, of course, Esperanto."; sds[293]="I'm going to see the cow beneath the sea."; sds[294]="If you want to run cool,
You've got to run on heavy heavy fuel."; sds[295]="I'm young, I'm wild, and I'm free
Got the magic power of the music in me."; sds[296]="He's not the king of Bedside Manor
He's not the Tom Jones who lives next door
He's not the king of Bedside Manor
He hardly even lives there any more."; sds[297]="I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Gilgamesh..."; sds[298]="I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Soupy Sales..."; sds[299]="I must have dreamed a thousand dreams,
Been haunted by a million screams..."; sds[300]="Riiiiight. What's an ark?"; sds[301]="Ordinarily I don't kick cops; it makes one conspicuous."; sds[302]="Everything in life is a hallucination. Everything in death, too. The universe is just putting us on."; sds[303]="If you make one or two ridiculous assumptions, you'll find everything I say or do totally justified."; sds[304]="Legends never die."; sds[305]="When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction."; sds[306]="Would it be injudicious to run like hell?"; sds[307]="Infinite variety... and more!"; sds[308]="It's there in my eyes and coming straight from my heart
It's running silent and angry and deep
Oh, it's there in my eyes and it's all I can say
Come on and look at me and read'em and weep."; sds[309]="Say a prayer in the darkness for the magic to come..."; sds[310]="You! Obey the fist!"; sds[311]="For the good of the action and a race in the dark
For the good of the fire in your soul
For the good of the rock and the roll in your heart
For the good of getting out of control"; sds[312]="I'm just gonna reminisce about haggis."; sds[313]="Dial-A-Ninja: We learn the arts of stealth so you don't have to."; sds[314]="Hell begins the day that God grants you the vision to see all that you could have done, should have done, and would have done, but did not do. -- Goethe"; sds[315]="What we call the beginning is often the end.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from. -- T.S. Eliot"; sds[316]="All your bazeball are been berry berry good to us. -- Cats Esquela"; sds[317]="We'll survive because we're basically completely insane. -- Laurie Anderson"; sds[318]="The inability of most people to feel the pain of others as if it were their own is what makes evil possible. -- Andrei Amalrik"; sds[319]="I swear to you, I will change the world."; sds[320]="It's people! Selsun Blue is people!"; sds[321]="God doesn't play dice with the universe... but the universe might play Dungeons and Dragons."; sds[322]="The towels are not what they seem."; sds[323]="Entropy -- it softens planets while you do dishes."; sds[324]="Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes, sometimes I require an extra seat on the bus."; sds[325]="Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash, and I am delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever!"; sds[326]="Are you on fire
From the years?
What would you give
For your kid fears?"; sds[327]="When you're feeling low and woozy,
Slap a fresh clip in your Uzi;
Assume the proper firing stance,
And watch the suckers jump and dance."; sds[328]="Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity. -- Gilda Radner"; sds[329]="The Black Queen chants the Funeral March,
The cracked brass bells will ring
To summon back the Fire Witch
To the Court of the Crimson King."; sds[330]="You can believe anything you want. The universe is not obliged to keep a straight face."; sds[331]="Do I dare disturb the universe? -- T. S. Eliot"; sds[332]="There is no business like show business, but taxidermy is probably a close second."; sds[333]="Scapegoats and muntjacks and cubic equations,
Stopgaps and catflaps and runic evasions,
Plastic explosives from east of Berlin,
These are a few of my favourite things."; sds[334]="The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently. -- Friedrich Nietzsche"; sds[335]="Live Fats, Die Yo Gnu."; sds[336]="Born To Rune."; sds[337]="Realism is a bad word. In a sense everything is realistic. I see no line between the imaginary and the real. -- Federico Fellini"; sds[338]="I think it's tragic that entire families can be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs."; sds[339]="Seeking out Punks Who Should Be Slapped, and slapping them, since the dawn of Time"; sds[340]="In this world we're just beginning
To understand the miracle of living
Baby, I was afraid before
I'm not afraid any more."; sds[341]="Life's like a movie,
Write your own ending,
Keep believing,
Keep pretending."; sds[342]="Was the Order to Slay given because of the Sign of the Goat found on the ancient Roman crypt beneath the cathedral, or because the Dark Man of the Haute Vienne Coven spoke the Three Words?"; sds[343]="Like a window reflecting time,
I'm living on a planet of my own design"; sds[344]="If you meet the Buddha on the road, give him a bagel."; sds[345]="I remember when I used to drop acid back in college.
Man, does that stuff eat carpets!"; sds[346]="The deluding passions are inexhaustible, I vow to destroy them;
The Dharma gates are manifold, I vow to know them;
The Buddha way is supreme, I vow to master it;
Sentient beings are numberless, I vow to save them."; sds[347]="Why do the voices in my head never say, 'Your dosage needs adjustment'?"; sds[348]="Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun.
But mama, that's where the fun is."; sds[349]="The Fountains are dusty in the Graveyard of Dreams,
The Hinges are rusty, they swing with tiny screams."; sds[350]="I don't know why people think space is so far away. It's only a half hour drive, if your car could go up."; sds[351]="Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."; sds[352]="A Martian with a mangled spear
Is stuffing tarts in my left ear.
If I turn off my hearing aid,
Will I still taste the marmalade?"; sds[353]="Meanwhile, I'm still thinking..."; sds[354]="Get it on
Bang a gong
Get it on"; sds[355]="My daddy was a Gibson
My momma was a Fender
That's why they call me
Mindbender"; sds[356]="Now in twenty-eight years of eating hamburgers
I ain't never run into no Martian
Not at two-thirty in the morning
And certainly not at a fine scarfin' establishment like Eat (Eat!)"; sds[357]="I feel good.
I feel better than James Brown."; sds[358]="Life is serious, but art is fun!"; sds[359]="We are brief summer's lightning,
We are swift as swallow's flight,
We are sparks that spiral upwards
In the darkness of the night.
We are frost upon the window,
We won't pass this way again,
And in the end, dear, only love remains."; sds[360]="In winter's first chill
The last golden autumn leaves
Faw down and go boom.
-- Sensei Tweety"; sds[361]="Make your choice, adventurous Stranger;
Strike the bell and bide the danger,
Or wonder, til it drives you mad,
What would have followed if you had.
-- C.S. Lewis"; sds[362]="And all the girlies say I'm pretty dry for a wet guy."; sds[363]="Goodbye, Princeton; goodbye, CERN.
He's gone to Texas to watch the holy fire burn.
He's gone to build
He's gone to build
The Supercollider"; sds[364]="Smells Like napalm, tastes Like chicken!"; sds[365]="Nobody steps on a church in my town!"; sds[366]="What's your boggle, citizen?"; sds[367]="Warning: I am an amateur. Don't try this at work."; sds[368]="Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
-- Satchel Paige"; sds[369]="Having been some days in preparation, a splendid time is guaranteed for all."; sds[370]="Hashire! Kosoku no Teikokukagekidan!
Unare Shogeki no Teikokukagekidan!"; sds[371]="I break tradition,
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes,
but I can't live that way."; sds[372]="This time it feels like I've been
Touched by a supernova..."; sds[373]="I take a step to what's real
Or at least to what it is I'm chasing
Another step to reveal
All the shadows that I keep embracing..."; sds[374]="I dig that cat, 'cause he's really gone!"; sds[375]="Five years ago, I was a four-stone apology.
Today, I am two separate gorillas."; sds[376]="Hit me with your rhythm stick!
Hit me! Hit me!
Das ist gut! C'est fantastique!
Hit me! hit me! hit me!
Hit me with your rhythm stick!
It's nice to be a lunatic!
Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!"; sds[377]="For every sin I'll have to pay
A time to work, a time to play
I think I'll find another way
It's not my time to go."; sds[378]="Thunder's just a noise, boys -- lightning does the work."; sds[379]="Jedermann sein eigner Fussball! (Every Man His Own Football!)"; sds[380]="And I look back on Venus, I look back on Mars
And I burn with the fire of ten million stars
And in time, and in time, we will all be stars"; sds[381]="Life is a mystery
Everyone must stand alone
I hear you call my name
And it feels like home"; sds[382]="I will bellow like the thunder drum, invoke the storm of war
A twisting pillar spun of dust and blood up from the prairie floor
I will sweep the foe before me like a gale out on the snow
And the wind will long recount the story, reverence and glory, when I go."; sds[383]="The future can be a scary place.
Scare it back."; sds[384]="Be grateful for luck.
Pay the thunder no mind -- listen to the birds.
And don't hate nobody.
-- Eubie Blake"; sds[385]="I don't care if you're a champion
No one messes with me
I am ruthless in upholding
What I know is right
Black or white
As you'll see."; sds[386]="And the three men I admire most
The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died."; sds[387]="Like a thief in the night, who can't get enough,
I am willing to fight, 'cause I'm a soldier of love."; sds[388]="And the devil will drag you under
By the sharp lapels of your checkered coat..."; sds[389]="Specialization is for insects."; sds[390]="Loon schism power, fake-out!"; sds[391]="Inserting invert cliches since 1998."; sds[392]="We see them after school in a world of their own
To some it might seem creepy what they do
The neighbors on the right sat and watched them every night
I'll bet you'd do the same if they was you."; sds[393]="Three - Five - Zero - Zero"; sds[394]="The Tree of Swords and Jewels waits for me."; sds[395]="Rising like the pegasus, each and every one of us released
Islands in the sea of dreams, always searching harmony and peace..."; sds[396]="If the war by Heaven's Gate released desire,
In the line of fire someone must have known
That a human heart demands to be admired
'Cause in the center of the universe we are all alone."; sds[397]="I have a tale to be told, won't you listen tonight?
Follow me into the core of the fountain of light..."; sds[398]="I am the king of honor, gold and glory
But every king must also die..."; sds[399]="Three things never anger, or you will not live for long:
A wolf with cubs, a man with power,
And a woman's sense of wrong."; sds[400]="With grated cheese comes grated responsibility."; sds[401]="Everybody nosedive, hold your breath, count to five
Backslap, boobytrap, cover it up in bubblewrap
Wormshake, earthquake, find a way to stay awake
It's gonna blow, it's gonna break, this is more than I can take!"; sds[402]="Give me steam, and how you can feel can make it real
As real as anything you've seen
Get a life, with the dreamer's dream."; sds[403]="All we are saying, is give pizza chants."; sds[404]="If it's something I want, then it's something I need
I wasn't built for comfort, I was built for speed"; sds[405]="Godspeed! Godspeed! Godspeed! Speed us away!"; sds[406]="Among Zen Buddhists it is said that, 'When you meet another bodhisattva on the road, greet him with neither words nor silence.' This leaves you with a vast selection of barnyard noises from which to choose. -- The Principia Discordia"; sds[407]="Zettai Unmei Mokushiroku"; sds[408]="We are young,
Wandering the face of the earth,
Wondering what our dreams might be worth,
Learning that we're only immortal for a limited time."; sds[409]="We travel in the dark of the new moon,
A starry highway traced on the map of the sky,
Like lovers and heroes, lonely as the eagle's cry..."; sds[410]="From the point of ignition
To the final drive
The point of the journey
Is not to arrive..."; sds[411]="Purple toupee will show the way
When summer brings you down
Purple toupee and gold lamé
Will turn your brain around..."; sds[412]="I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from Now We Are Six through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So theeeeeere..."; sds[413]="There must be fifty ways to leave the Louvre..."; sds[414]="In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"; sds[415]="Did you ever notice that you never see Jesus and Batman in the same room?"; sds[416]="Then the horns kicked in, and my shoes started to squeak."; sds[417]="No thanks, I already have a nagilah."; sds[418]="I am just a new boy
A stranger in this town
Where are all the good times
Who's gonna show this stranger around?"; sds[419]="And in the fury of this darkest hour
We will be your light
You've asked me for my sacrifice
And I am Winter born."; sds[420]="It's so stimulating being your hat."; sds[421]="I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."; sds[422]="The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.
-- Arthur C. Clarke"; sds[423]="I am Millard Fillmore, thirteenth president of the United States, American Samurai."; sds[424]="I'm rational to the point of irrationality."; sds[425]="Kill a circus act. Go for the juggler."; sds[426]="By the Queen of Air and Darkness I summoned am to tourney;
Three leagues beyond the wide world's end, methinks it is no journey."; sds[427]="There is a little bit of Godzilla inside every one of us."; sds[428]="Call me an old-fashioned kind of guy, but I believe in the one true God. His Name is Zarkon. He lives in the lake."; sds[429]="There's nothing very mysterious about you, except that nobody really knows your origin, purpose, or destination."; sds[431]="God dammit, Daddy. You know I love you. But you've got a hell of a lot to learn about rock 'n' roll!
-- Jim Steinman"; sds[432]="Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers."; sds[433]="And just remember, kids: these are just my opinions. I urge you to go out and form the same opinions on your own."; sds[434]="I think it's fairly self-evident that quantum black holes are armor-piercing."; sds[435]="I don't think I could put my fist through a three-foot grasshopper."; sds[436]="If someone asks if you're a god, say 'Yes.'
If someone asks if you're Sarah Connor, say 'No.'"; sds[437]="Show me the magic. C'mon. Show me the magic." sds[438]="As far as tactics are concerned, in situations like this, I personally recommend cheating."; sds[439]="I am lost.
I have gone to look for myself.
If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait.
Thank you."; sds[440]="A real warrior would have asked about the little red button."; sds[441]="GIVE ME IMMORTALITY OR GIVE ME DEATH!"; sds[442]="Providing retroactive motives since sometime tomorrow."; sds[443]="Boom! Whee!"; sds[444]="Whaddaya want for nuttin'? A rrrrubber biscuit?"; sds[445]="Now I lie in bed and think of her
Sometimes I even weep
Then I dream of her
Behind the wall of sleep."; sds[446]="Well, I'm on my way
I don't know where I'm goin'
I'm on my way
I'm takin' my time but I don't know where."; sds[447]="Didn't expect to see me again, eh, Svengali?"; sds[448]="So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw."; sds[449]="When they made me, they twisted the mold."; sds[450]="Where the Wylde Magicke flows, nothing be certain."; sds[451]="At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits."; sds[452]="Justice? You're soaking in it!"; sds[453]="I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts, and I know how to use them."; sds[454]="I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of Man. -- Thomas Jefferson"; sds[455]="Now I was born about ten thousand years ago
There is nothing in this world that I don't know
I saw Peter, Paul and Moses playing ring-around-the-roses
And I'll whup the guy that says it isn't so."; sds[456]="Well I'm just a lonesome traveler
A great historical bum
Highly educated, through history I have come
I built the Rock of Ages
It was in the Year of One
And that's about the biggest thing
That Man has ever done."; sds[457]="Mommy's all right, Daddy's all right
They just seem a little weird
Surrender, surrender
But don't give yourself away."; sds[458]="Let the revels begin, let the fires be started
We're dancing for the restless and the broken-hearted
Let the revels begin, let the fires be started
We're dancing for the desperate and the broken-hearted"; sds[459]="And I saw an angel come down unto me
In her hand she holds the very key
Words of compassion, words of peace
And in the distance an army's marching feet..."; sds[460]="They travel on the road to redemption
A highway out of yesterday -- that tomorrow will bring
Like lovers and heroes, birds in the last days of spring
We're only at home when we're on the wing"; sds[461]="You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?
Is this really Butte, Montana, or just existential blues?"; sds[462]="They call me Mellow Yellow."; sds[463]="Electrical banana
Is gonna be a sudden craze;
Electrical banana
Is bound to be the very next phase."; sds[464]="It's either real or it's a dream, there's nothing that is in between..."; sds[465]="In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention,
Well-secluded, I see all..."; sds[466]="A couple of the sounds that I really like
Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike"; sds[467]="Bring me my bow of burning gold,
Bring me my arrows of desire.
Bring me my spear -- O clouds unfold!
Bring me my chariot of fire!"; sds[468]="I will not cease from mental fight
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
Til we have built Jerusalem
In England's green and pleasant land."; sds[469]="Come inside, the show's about to start
Guaranteed to blow your head apart!"; sds[470]="Hal-an-Tow, jolly rumbelo."; sds[471]="Don't hassle me -- I've got a black belt in macrame."; sds[472]="I'm into drag racing. I know it's really dangerous, but I love driving really fast with women's clothes on."; sds[473]="I'm gonna break the cycle
I'm gonna shake up the system"; sds[474]="Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be..."; sds[475]="Two thousand zero, zero, party over,
Oops, out of time!"; sds[476]="The amenities of life have been chasing my soul,
And my mind is transcendental, and I'm losing all control,
And I'm sinking in the quagmire of illusions and Thoreau.
I cry out, 'My name is T-Bone!' as a hound dog digs a hole."; sds[477]="With a host of furious fancies,
Whereof I am commander,
With a burning spear and a horse of air
To the wilderness I wander."; sds[478]="When Quinn the Eskimo gets here, everybody's gonna jump for joy."; sds[479]="Now that you know how it's done, it's only a matter of practice."; sds[480]="We can't afford to be innocent
Stand up and face the enemy
It's a do or die situation
We will be Invincible"; sds[481]="I'm just the fastest thing you'll ever see.
That streak of lightning you just missed was me."; sds[482]="In the grim future of Hello Kitty there is only war!"; sds[483]="I'm the LOON!
Eager for fun!
I wear a smile!
Everybody run!"; sds[484]="Grundig blaupunkt luger frug!
Watusi snarf wazoo!
Nixon dirksen nasahist!
Rebozo boogaloo!"; sds[485]="I am the son, I am the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar"; sds[486]="And how did I get to be the man that I am,
A god among men, only without the tan?
It's simple -- every time I have to make a choice
I just listen to my little inner voice..."; sds[487]="If you believe in only one thing, believe in Bogus."; sds[488]="Zilch. Mister Dobbalina, Mister Bob Dobbalina. Zilch..."; sds[489]="Michael J. Fox has no Elvis in him."; sds[490]="You are a fluke of the Universe. You have no right to be here. And whether you can hear it or not, the Universe is laughing behind your back."; sds[491]="You know your stripper from your paint;
You know your sinner from your saint;
Whenever Heaven's doors are shut
You kick them open, but
I know you."; sds[492]="You know your green from your red;
You know the quick from the dead;
So much better than the rest,
You think you're the best,
But I know you."; sds[493]="You know your leather from your snake;
You know the throttle from the brake;
You know your straight line from a curve,
You've got a lot of nerve,
But I know you."; sds[494]="Speaking of mayhem, where’s Buffy?"; sds[495]="Slam your body down and zigga zig ah"; sds[496]="Look, I understand too little too late.
I realize there are things you say and do you can never take back.
But what would you be if you didn't try? You've got to try.
So after a lot of thought, I'd like to reconsider.
Please, if it’s not too late, make it a... cheeseburger.
-- Lyle Lovett"; sds[497]="I'm your ice cream man, stop me when I'm passing by."; sds[498]="Jeder Engel ist schrecklich. -- Rilke"; sds[499]="Finally someone let me outta my cage
Now time for me is nothin' 'cause I'm counting no age
Now I couldn't be there, now you shouldn't be scared
I'm good at repairs and I'm under each snare."; sds[500]="Earth and water, air and fire, mold thy power to my desire."; sds[501]="Metahuman I am called, and wizard of war. I have been named the Saint of Free Will, the Avatar of Chaos, the Fate-Breaker and the Destroyer of Destinies; the Japanese call me 'Kyoki no Kyoku', the Music of Madness. Heaven and Hell know and fear me as Loon the Godslayer, and I bear the Marks of eight Celestials who call me friend and brother." // Now I pick a number at random... var arandomn=Math.random() * quotnum; arandomn=Math.round(arandomn); // ...and display that quotation document.write(sds[arandomn]);