Drunkard's Walk Detour
Slayers: Charm, Beauty, Destruction
A DW Fanfic by Murmur the Fallen
I.
When Lina Inverse first saw the oddly dressed man on the road,
she immediately took an eager look around. It was an old
bandits' trick; put somebody in the middle of the road and wait
for someone to come by. Invariably they'll try to check the
person to see if they're alive or at least have something
valuable on them. Then the bandits come out from hiding and rob
that person blind.
And there were very few things that Lina Inverse loved more
than robbing bandits. She loved to see the dumb blind horror
come into their eyes as she told them exactly who she was. She
loved the way that they ran screaming as she hurled spell after
destructive, bloody, and above all burning spell after them. And
she loved the loot.
She looked around eagerly, but slowly, surreptitiously, so as
not to spook any potential bandits. Then, crestfallen, she
looked around again.
"Do you see anyone, Gourry?" she asked of her companion.
"Nobody," answered Gourry Gabriev. He was a tall blonde man
whose face fell as easily into a confused expression as it did
into the intense expression of an expert swordsman that he was.
He had taken up with Lina a couple years ago and hadn't left her
side as a self-appointed guardian. "Maybe it's not an
ambush."
Disappointed and pouting, Lina turned her attention to the man
on the road. He was dressed in a gray one-piece leather suit,
with black boots and white gloves. He also had on a helmet
mottled white and gray, made of what could have been ivory that
covered all of his head and most of his face, with tinted glass
covering his eyes. Lina had a hard time thinking of any animal
that had such big horns that you could make a helmet out of it,
but she traveled constantly but not exactly widely for the most
part. Next to him in his grasp was a pack, presumably his.
"Hey. Hey, hey," said Gourry. He was crouched down next to
the fallen man and poking him repeatedly with a stick. He turned
to Lina, still poking the man. "He's not waking up. You think
he's injured or something?"
"Maybe. With the clothes and helmet, who can tell? He's not
bleeding as far as I can see, anyway," answered Lina. She
shrugged. "I'll heal him."
"That sure is nice of you, Lina. You never do things like
that usually," said Gourry as he moved away from the body.
"What? I can be nice. I have been nice! Didn't I save the
world at least three times in the last two years?" demanded
Lina. "I am a nice, cute girl! So shut up!"
"Okay, okay," placated Gourry as he backed away.
Lina huffed indignantly then turned her attention back to the
man on the ground. She began to chant as she drew in power.
"Oh, blessed and humble hand of God, life and breath of Mother
Earth, come before me and show your great compassion and deliver
us. Recovery!" A white light emanated from Lina's upraised
hands, a light that grew into a small ball of light. She held
the ball in her hand as she knelt down before the fallen man and
then laid her hands upon him. The light pulsed from her and
spread to the man. And the man woke up groaning. He blinked,
his eyes trying to adjust to the light. He looked up at Lina and
Gourry and muttered something sotto voce.
"Sorry?" said Lina. "Could you speak up?"
The man muttered something else, then in a clearer, louder
voice, spoke incomprehensible syllables.
"Um," said Lina, puzzled. She turned to Gourry. "Do you
understand what he's saying?"
"Not a bit," said Gourry emphatically, shaking his head.
"No, of course not."
The man tried again, presumably trying to make himself
understood, asking questions from his tone of voice.
"Are you trying to say something?" asked Lina. "Do . . . you
. . . understand . . . the words that are coming . . . out of my
mouth?" She pointed to her mouth, then flapped her fingers
against her thumb. "Understand? Mouth? Talky-talky?"
The man shook his head. He muttered something to himself
again, and surprisingly, music played.
"Hey, where's that coming from?" asked Gourry. Lina pointed
to the man, who had taken a sitting position on the ground.
"Whoa!" exclaimed Lina, as she felt strange energies emanating
from the man on the ground. She backed away slightly and
slowly. "Never felt anything like that."
The man got up from the ground, slowly though not with any
apparent discomfort. He took off his helmet, revealing a
youngish man with clear eyes.
"Can you understand me?" he said, completely comprehensible.
"Hello?"
"Yes . . . we . . . understand . . . you!" Lina said.
The man's eyes tightened slightly at the edges, but soon
relaxed again. "You don't have to be so condescending."
Lina placed the edge of her hand against hand vertically
against her nose. "Sorry, sorry! We just didn't know that you
could do that. What kind of spell was that?"
The man's mouth quirked, as if he'd figured out something.
"Just a spell that helps me to learn languages. That's all. And
I'm guessing that you guys aren't members of the Society for
Creative Anachronism, right?"
"Are you sure that you're speaking the right language?" asked
Lina. She shook her head. "Anyway, I know what the spell did.
That's obvious. I want to know how it worked. What Chaos Words
did you use? Which power did you draw from?"
The man stared at her for a moment. "I have no idea what
you're talking about. Um, by the way, I'm Doug. Doug Sangnoir.
Pleased to meet you." He stuck out a hand, which Lina took and
shook.
"I'm Lina Inverse, and this is Gourry Gabriev. Say hello to
the strange man who is ignoring my questions, Gourry."
"Hi," said Gourry affably.
"Hey," greeted Doug, also shaking his hand. He turned back to
Lina. "Well, thanks for waking me up. You wouldn't by any
chance have heard of the Collegium, have you? Or Valdemar?"
Lina shook her head. "Sorry. Never heard of either."
Doug sagged in apparent disappointment. "No, of course not.
I couldn't be that lucky." He took a long look around, at first
puzzled, and then alarmed. "Have you seen a motor . . a, uh,
thing with a seat and two wheels, one before the other? It's
made of metal."
Lina shook her head again. "Sorry."
He heaved a large sigh, straightened up, and nodded to Lina.
His face filled with disappointment and anxiety. "Listen, thanks
again. If you'd just do me the favor of pointing me to the
nearest city or town, I'd be grateful."
Lina pointed a thumb behind her, back down the road she had
walked from. "It's a pretty fair sized town. Does some business
with the capital." Doug thanked them once more, readjusted his
pack, and set off.
Lina and Gourry stared after him for a couple of seconds. She
finally shrugged. This "Doug" person was a mystery, sure, but
then again so were many other things. Lina was in a very
transitory stage right now. She'd just come off a world-saving
adventure, and wasn't quite yet ready to unwind from her trip.
This sort of leisure time, just wandering randomly with no
particular plan or purpose in mind, was necessary for recharging
oneself and for holding onto one's zest for life.
Lina was nothing if not zesty.
"C'mon, Gourry. There has to be a bandit's hideout around
here somewhere."
Heck've nice pair of people, thought Doug as he trudged
his way to town. One of them, probably the girl, must have
healed him from his trip. Even with the healing, he felt
surprisingly weak and woozy. He'd have to either find a node and
charge up or just find someplace to rest.
What a trip that was. Even in his unconscious state, he was
aware of the pain lancing through him as he transited between
worlds. And it was so violent that the straps he used to tie
himself to his bike had broken. It just wasn't the normal state
of things. But, he mused, how normal was it to travel from world
to alternate world? Not particularly, he answered himself. So
maybe the new state of affairs will be painful, if still
unconscious, trips through realities, and then waking up feeling
like something that a cat had toyed with, if not worse.
Doug grimaced, but soldiered on. He could see the town now as
he walked onto the crest of a hill. He'd seen what passed for a
‘town' in some places, towns that would barely be called a street
on his world, and this wasn't one of them. This was an actual
town, filled with a bustling and moving population. Carts
wheeled into it and left it regularly. It lay on a plain some
distance away from the forest and wasn't walled off, which Doug
found surprising. Usually in these pre-industrial worlds,
fortifications were usually the first line of defense for any
settlement.
He tried not to think about his motorcycle, but he couldn't
stop himself from dwelling on it. He'd built it himself and had
had it for most of his trip. He felt particularly close to it.
The thought that someone had stolen it sickened him. He was
fairly sure that they couldn't use it, but he'd found that it
never paid to underestimate the ingeniousness, tenacity, and
sneakiness of thieves. He had to get it back before someone did
figure out how to use it. Or, worse, before someone took it
apart because he'd never be able to repair it here. And he just
wasn't up to feeling responsible for introducing technology
hundreds of years more advanced than they had to this magic
culture.
He shook his head. It was unlikely that whoever took it would
be able to use it, let alone understand enough to be able to
duplicate it. And if they took it apart, well, he might be able
to repair it, even make new parts here. Magic could substitute a
lot for technology. And he'd be able to makeshift it until he
got to a more technologically advanced world.
Feeling optimistic despite his weariness, Doug began walking
again even as he mentally went through the contents of his pack.
One of the problems of coming to a new world was that he was
never sure about how much certain gems paid when sold. He had
enough to be comfortably well off, he was sure, but how much
extra would that leave him? He might have unexpected expenses
and with no prospects for a job anytime soon he might have to dip
into his extra gems.
Ah, well, that was a concern for later.
He stopped, suddenly remembering something. He quickly, if
stealthily, went back to the tree line and hid himself behind a
tree. Doug opened his pack and rooted through it, eventually
taking out some clothes. Obviously, his stylish yet functional
Warriors uniform was far too different from the fashion of this
world to go unnoticed. He set down his pack, and stared at the
two pairs of pants in each hand, one a hose, the other just
jeans. He quickly and thankfully stuffed the hose back in,
deciding that it was close enough to what the other men were
wearing to pass. Doug wondered briefly if he should tailor one
of the rolls of material he had into a cape, but decided not. A
simple long-sleeve woolen shirt, which was supposed to be blue
but had turned into a sort of light gray, completed his
ensemble/disguise.
As he stripped off his uniform, Doug slowly became aware of
eyes upon him. Wishing that he'd felt that before he'd taken off
his pants, Doug hopped on one leg and turned around.
A giant, green, long-eared, vaguely reptilian monster stared
back at him.
"Um," said Doug, momentarily at a loss for words. He put his
leg down and freed it from his fallen pants. So, he
thought as he looked over the monster. It's scary looking,
sure, and armed with a huge club. But does that mean that it's a
bad person? No, of course not. "Hi."
The monster scratched his head with a talon-tipped finger,
looking at Doug curiously. He grunted.
"Hey, big fellah, you don't mind if I put on some pants before
we continue this scintillating conversation, do you?" The
monster grunted again, which Doug took for agreement, though
frankly he would have done so anyway. Beyond what embarrassment
he felt, Doug was getting a bit chilled. It looked to be early
fall in this world, just getting cool without losing many leaves
from the trees. Doug put on his jeans and then a thick red wool
sweater. Hopefully, that would be good enough to pass, because
frankly there wasn't much else; it wasn't as if he had a whole
disguise kit inside his bag.
Doug turned around, back to the monster. "Thanks for waiting,
buddy," he said. The monster nodded in return, genially enough,
and then with a loud roar he came at Doug with his club high for
killing. Doug jumped back, then further back still, surprised,
but not surprised enough to lose his head. He was too far away
from his helmet to use his power, but he was still a well-trained
fighter with an inherent speed and toughness that went slightly
beyond the human. The monster, even though hampered by the
trees, made large sweeping arcs with his club. Which, frankly,
was a stupid move. The monster was unexpectedly fast, given its
size, but because of its size, the trees and the rough landscape
too hampered it. Doug danced away from him, and then kicked the
side of the monster's neck. The monster's eyes rolled up until
only the yellows of its eyes showed. It dropped its club, fell
first to its knees, and then to the ground. "Ouch," it muttered
softly just before it dropped completely.
Doug breathed out loudly, leaning down on his knees as he
tried to catch his breath. He must have been more tired than he
thought. The edges of exhaustion were inching towards him, and
though his natural stamina was returning, it was going too
slowly. He straightened up, worked the kinks out of his muscles,
and took a deep breath and let it out loudly. There, that was
better.
It was then that Doug became aware of the screams. He looked
to the town outside the woods and saw that thin, yet dark
tendrils of smoke were drifting out of it. Nearly a hundred
monsters, some that looked like his own, some that looked like
fire breathing saber-tooth cats on two legs, were streaming into
the town.
Doug sighed, straightened himself further, picked up his pack
and put on his helmet, and ran to the town. There goes my covert
incursion and excursion, he thought as his fist, ringed with
lightning, smashed into the face of a monster.
|