Characters

Chord Kryzzlswitch - a male gnome

As a child, you lived in the Southeastern Reaches of the Gnomish Kingdoms in a small town called Vcktbck. Your parents made their living as farmers, predominantly raising longthorpes, a popular breakfast food. You were the oldest of 6 children; you had 4 sisters and one brother.

Longthorpe farming was not a particularly lucrative business. Although they were very popular, there was a huge supply of longthorpes. Needless to say, your family was not wealthy. However, there was always enough food to go around. There just wasn't much beyond that. The extra stuff, the new clothes, the toys, the bassomatics, those were the kind of things that your family simply could not afford.

In spite of the lack of "luxuries" your family was very happy. All of your brothers and sisters had to work in the fields. It was a lot of hard work, but you had fun too. Sometimes your father would let you or one of your other brothers and sisters ride the oxen. After a particularly hard day in the fields, your father would even let you each pick a few longthorpes for a special after dinner treat. There was nothing like a longthorpe picked fresh right off the stalk.

However, your quaint life working in the longthorpe fields would soon come to an end. A violent storm hit Vcktbck, this was the most powerful storm you had ever witnessed; and you had witnessed plenty in the open plains near Vcktbck. Your father rushed the whole family into the storm cellar.

You peered up through the crack in the storm cellar door and watched the entire crop being destroyed. You even witnessed all of your family's equipment, the plows, the oxen, even the barn itself being sucked up into the clouds by a great whirlwind.

After the storm concluded, your family emerged from the cellar. You looked at your father and saw nothing but despair in his face. He was trying to hide it, so as not to worry the rest of the family, but you had always had a kind of empathy with your father. You could tell that he was deeply worried. As the rest of the family headed back towards what remained of the house, your father just stood there, next to the cellar, surveying his ravaged farmland.

You approached your father, hoping to console him. "We can replant the crop, right?"

"I'm afraid it's too late for that, son. Even if we could manage to get some new equipment and get enough seed, the crop would not come in before winter hit. I think we'll be better off saving our money, trying to salvage what's left of the crop and hope we can hold on through the winter until the next growing season starts."

You could tell that your father really wasn't so sure the family could make it through the winter. As the oldest son, you felt that it was your responsibility to do something. You decided to leave Vcktbck, and head for the great city of Slgrthzk. There was a war going on with the Kingdom of East Lansing, maybe you could join the army. Then you could take any wages you made and send them back to your family. At the very least, with you gone there would be one less mouth to feed.

You decided to sneak out in the middle of the night. Your father would never approve of your plans. "You're far too young to be living on your own, son," he would say. Well, you would just have to prove him wrong. The family was in a desperate situation, and you were convinced that your help was the only chance the family had. So, that night, you packed your bags and headed for the capital.

You arrived in Slgrthzk early the next morning after traveling through the night. You were exhausted. You collapsed into a deep sleep on a park bench in the city park. You slept the whole morning and most of the evening. The next day, you started to look for the army sign-up station.

After walking around the city for about an hour and asking a few questions, you found a small building with a sign next to it bearing the army insignia. You entered the building. There was a very fit looking gnome wearing a military uniform sitting behind a desk in the lobby. You approached the man, declaring "Excuse me sir, I'd like to join the army. Where do I sign-up?"

The man looked you over. "Don't you think that you're a bit young for the army, kid?"

"I'm not that young. Look, I'm almost 70," you said, exaggerating your age by about 20 years. But your mother always said that you looked so much older than you really were.

"OK," the man said looking skeptical. "Well, you have to pass a physical first, and that will take all day. We'll provide you with lunch. You don't have anywhere you have to be, do you?"

"No, sir," you replied, looking forward to mealtime. You hadn't eaten since the previous day, and you were pretty hungry.

"All right then, step into that room over there and a doctor will be in to see you," the man said, pointing to a room down the hall.

Never before had you been subjected to such a grueling barrage of tests. The doctors had you run on simulated earth, lift weights and they tested your hearing and eyesight. They weighed you and measured every part of your body, arms, legs, even your ears and nose. All the while, other doctors and nurses were recording the test results. Lunch was a welcome break. After that, you had to take an IQ test, and do several dexterity tests. It was nearing dinnertime before the examination was finally over.

A doctor approached you after the physical. "Well, I must admit that I've never seen a young lad in such excellent physical condition. You're nearly as strong as a man twice your age with amazing dexterity. However, I'm afraid I have to deny you entrance into the army. Sorry kid."

"Wait! If I'm in such great shape, how come you won't let me in?" you asked.

"Well, your nose is under regulation. Army regulation 25.2-B clearly states that any recruit must have a nasal organ exceeding 2 inches in length. You're only about an inch and a half." The doctor, obviously noticing the dejected look on your face, then went on to say, "Don't take it so hard. You're still pretty young yet. It'll probably grow some more. Good luck to you, kid. Look, head down to the mess hall for dinner on me before you head out."

So much for joining the army. After dinner, you headed back to the park. You worried about your family. You weren't making any money very fast this way. You decided that tomorrow you would start looking for a job.

The next day, you woke up early and started walking through town looking for anything that looked like it might have job potential. You passed by a fancy looking stable house which had a help wanted sign posted on the door. This was something you could do. You used to feed and take care of the horses back on the farm.

You walked into the door and approached the man behind the counter. He looked very wealthy, wearing what appeared to be very expensive clothing and jewelry. "Sir, I noticed your help wanted sign outside. I've worked with horses before and was wondering if you might hire me."

"Well, you look like a fine strapping young lad," he said, looking you over. "All right, you're hired. The job requires you to be on the premises 24 hours a day. Free room and board, plus 3 silver pieces per week. You sleep in the stables. Let me show you the facilities", he said, leading you back into the stables.

"I am Stennard Krflwch, proprietor of the Krflwch Stables. I will be your boss. Any problems or questions you have should be directed to me. We have a very exclusive clientele here. People expect the best service and we give it to them. Our horses are the finest in the city."

"Here is where you'll be sleeping," he said, pointing to a stall containing a small cot. "Are there any questions?"

"No, sir," you replied, anxious to get to work. "By the way, my name is Chord," you said, extending your hand.

"Very well, then, Cort, get these horses fed and brushed and clean all the manure out of these stalls," he said, ignoring your hand. "After you finish that, we'll see about lunch," he then returned to his station behind the counter and left you to work.

It was all you could do to finish up everything before lunchtime. You were brushing the last horse, a rather broken down old mare, compared with all the other horses, which were in top condition. But, she was gentle and friendly, and you took and immediate liking to her. Just then, Stennard appeared.

"Lunch time," he said. Then, noticing you working on the mare, he said, "Don't worry about old Lizzie. I'm about to sell her for glue. Unless, of course, I can find a sucker first," he laughed.

As you came out of the stall to eat your lunch, you tripped over a full bucket of feed which you left sitting on the floor, spilling it all over.

"That will have to come out of your salary," Stennard declared, pointing at the floor and shaking his head. "Clean that up and then eat your lunch. And be more careful next time."

Lunch consisted of a glass of water, a small apple and a stale piece of bread. Well, you figured it was better than nothing.

You worked hard for a week and collected your salary, minus two silver for spilled feed. One silver. This certainly wasn't going to help your family very soon. Although many of the clients seemed to be very wealthy, they seldom tipped when you brought out their horses. You had only earned one copper piece. You guessed you'd have to work harder and be careful not to get penalized further.

One day, Stennard summoned you to the front. He was talking to a client, an obviously very poor man who was dressed in little more than rags. He had a cane and was leaning on it heavily.

"Chord, this gentleman has purchased Lizzie. An excellent horse," he commented to the man. "Go fetch her and help the man get her saddled up."

You were horrified. Stennard was taking advantage of this poor old man, just for a few coins. You couldn't let him get away with it. You turned towards the old man declaring, "Mister, he's trying to rip you off. That old horse isn't any good."

The old man looked shocked. Stennard was outraged. He approached you yelling, "Why you little..." He then reached out to grab you by the shirt.

You anticipated this move, wound up and clocked him. Your right hook caught him square in the head, knocking him out cold.

The old man watched, wide-eyed. He then dropped his cane and pulled off a fake beard. This guy wasn't an old man after all. "Wow, nice shot kid," he said, not sounding so old anymore. He then bent down over Stennard and pulled off his gold necklace and ring.

You just stood there, staring in disbelief.

"Don't look so shocked. Hey, you did most of the work, let's go sell this stuff off and we'll split the money," the not so old man said. Seeing the reluctant look on your face the man continued, "This guy's a jerk. He was trying to cheat a poor old man. Or at least someone he thought was a poor old man. He probably even gyps you on your wages. This guy is filthy rich, and he still tries to cheat people. He'll never miss this jewelry, not one bit. He'll probably run right out and buy new tomorrow. What do you say?"

He was right. It didn't seem fair that mean people like Stennard had so much money while honest people like you and your family had to worry about whether or not there would be food on the table.

So, you went with the man. He introduced himself to you as Lancaster; his friends all called him Lanny. He did as he promised and split the profits from the jewelry with you. He told you about a group of kids that worked for him. These were poor kids, runaways, mostly orphans. The group went around and tricked or stole from wealthy old snobs like Stennard. They managed to make just enough money that way to pay for food and shelter for the kids. And sometimes even a little extra. That would be money you could send home to your family. You decided to join Lanny's group. He taught you how to beg and pick pockets.

You hired a messenger and took all the money you made from the jewelry and had it sent home to your parents along with a letter. "Dear Family," you wrote, "Don't worry about me. I'm doing well and I'm in good health. I've found a very good job making a lot of money. I'm sorry I had to leave, but I think it will be for the best. I've enclosed my wages for the last 2 weeks. I hope this helps. Love, Chord." Writing this letter made you very sad. You missed your family tremendously.

You learned that the group called themselves Lanny's Freeloaders. It seems that Lanny started bribing several of the local guard to look the other way when the group was pulling off its scams. One time, when they met Lanny to collect, one of the men asked, "Hey, where's your bunch of little freeloaders?" Lanny thought this was pretty funny and he started referring to all the kids as his freeloaders. The kids all liked it too, so the name stuck.

You worked for Lanny for about a year and things were going well. You had sent quite a bit of money home to your family, hopefully enough to recover from the terrible storm and make it through the winter. They still had to replace the lost equipment and the barn though. You hoped to work for Lanny for another year or so, then maybe you'd return home.

Often, you would enjoy a quiet walk through the park in the evening. There were a few poor old folks who slept in the park. You would stop and talk to them for a while and sometimes bring them some food. On one particular evening in the park, you met a young girl who would soon become one of your closest friends.

"Hey kid," the young girl said. "Do you have any money you could spare? I haven't eaten all day."

You couldn't help but laugh, "Do I look like I have any money to spare?"

She began to cry. You felt pretty bad for laughing. This poor girl looked pretty pitiful. But she was actually pretty cute beneath the dirt and ragged clothing. You decided to try to help her.

You correctly guessed that she had run away. You explained that you had run away yourself and you told her about Lanny and the group. "There's this guy named Lancaster," you explained, "we call him Lanny, and he gives us a place to live and food to eat. There's a group of us kids, runaways and orphans. Lanny lets us all live with him. All we have to do is work for him."

"What kind of work do you do?" she asked.

"Oh, it's really easy stuff," you said. "Sometimes we beg for money, like you were just doing. But we've got some special tricks that Lanny taught us. You get more money that way. Sometimes we cause a commotion on a busy street so some of the older kids can pick people's pockets. It's really a lot of fun. Look, maybe I can get you in."

She didn't seem to trust you at first. Well, you couldn't really blame her, you thought.

You remembered a place you frequently went when you wanted to be alone to write a letter to your family. "Look, I know this place we can go. Sometimes, I sneak over when I want to get away from the group. It's an abandoned building. I got some food stashed there and a mat you can sleep on. Come on, what else you gonna do?"

"OK," she said. "But I'm just going to think about it."

"Good enough," you said. "Since we're going to be roomies for the night, I ought to at least know your name. I'm Chord. Chord Kryzzlswitch."

"My name is Bôka Phildedewea," she replied.

So, you took her over to the old building. You had some dried meat and fruit that you produced and gave to the hungry young girl.

"Why'd you run away from home?" you asked while she was eating.

"Well, my parents, they used to beat me," she said. "See this," she said thrusting her left hand into your face. You immediately noticed that her pinkie finger was missing. "They cut off my pinkie finger just because I tried to take a cookie from an old lady one time."

"Geez," you gasped, feeling worse for laughing at this poor girl when you first met her. "That's pretty bad. Look you gotta join our group. You can't go back to that."

"Maybe," she said, "I'll think it over and let you know in the morning."

You didn't sleep well that night. All you could think about was this poor girl, with a family who tortured her. You thought you had it bad, but at least your family loved each other. You were determined to help Bôka somehow.

"Hey, Bôka," you said, waking her up in the morning. "Look, what d'ya' say? I can take you over to meet Lanny now."

She thought about it briefly. "OK. I've decided to go. But if it's no good, I'm leaving," she said.

You and Bôka started to become pretty close friends. You were beginning to spend a lot of time together. Some of the other boys in the group didn't seem to like all the time you were now spending with Bôka. They started to tease you about it. It was all in fun, so you didn't let them bother you, you just teased them back.

But one time, the teasing got mean and you lost your temper. The two of you were walking together in the park. Some of the boys came right up to Bôka and started to wave. "Hi, Bôka," they said, laughing. They were all waving with their pinkie fingers bent down, making fun of her missing finger. "How you doin' today, Pinkie?" one of them said.

You were enraged. You grabbed the waving hand of the kid who had just called her Pinkie and twisted it around his back. You then thrust it upward, forcing the kid to the ground. The kid groaned in pain, his howls muffled by the dirt that his face was pressed into. "I oughta rip off your finger, then you can see how it feels for yourself," you growled at the helpless kid.

"Hey, I'm sorry man. I was just kidding around," said the kid, struggling to get free.

You then released the kid. You just stood there, glaring down at him as the kid got up dusting himself off. The kid didn't even look up at you. He immediately went running over to join the rest of his friends. Needless to say, this kid never again teased you or Bôka.

You and Bôka started working together quite a bit. At first, you would beg at the park. Bôka had a girlish cuteness which attracted a lot of people who felt sorry for her. She could clean up pretty good on a crowded night at the park.

But begging was starting to get difficult. You weren't cute little kids anymore, but young adults. So, Lanny decided it was time to train you both in some of the finer arts of thievery. You had already learned how to pick pockets and you were actually really good at it. Lanny taught you that you improved your chances on a perspective pick if the guy was first distracted somehow.

You and Bôka worked this scheme to perfection. One of you would approach a man with a fat pouch. One of you would then pretend to be lost and ask for directions somewhere. While the victim was explaining how to get to wherever, you or Bôka would sneak up behind and cut his purse strings.

Lanny suggested a much better idea for a distraction. He knew a few illusion spells that he could teach you. One of you could give a little magic show while the other one sneaked through the crowd and picked a few pockets. Lanny started to teach both of you the art of spellcasting. However, you just couldn't catch on. You thought you were doing all the gestures and everything correctly, but somehow, you just couldn't invoke the magical images like Lanny and Bôka could.

Bôka, on the other hand, picked up spellcasting immediately. You watched her casting the spells. She moved her delicate hands and all nine fingers so gracefully. It wasn't long before she had mastered a few simple illusion spells.

The scam worked exactly as planned. Bôka's dancing illusionary bird dazzled the crowd as you cleaned house. This was the most profitable idea yet, but you were always careful only to pick pockets of wealthy people. You didn't want to take money from the people who really needed it.

You had run the magic show scam a few times throughout the city with quite a bit of success. You were afraid that the people of the city and the guard might have been starting to catch on to your scheme. So, you decided to take the show on the road. The two of you would head towards some of the smaller villages west of Slgrthzk.

The plan worked in these villages just as well as it did in the city. You had hit 3 so far and were making a killing. You had traveled west for a couple of days and now you were way out in the sticks. There was one more small village out on the Western Reaches of the Gnomish Kingdoms that you would hit, and then you would make your way back.

The show seemed to be going as usual when suddenly, appearing from behind a nearby grove of trees was the most hideous sight you had ever seen. It was a winged beast with huge claws and fangs, a pointed tail and two viciously sharp horns atop his head. People in the crowd started panicking, trampling each other in the attempt to get out of the monster's path.

The beast seemed to be headed straight towards Bôka. She was frozen with fear. You had to act quickly or she would be fiend food. You lunged at Bôka, knocking her to the ground trying to dodge the coming blow from the beast. You winced in pain as the monster swooped down and raked its claws across your back. You managed to roll both of you underneath a nearby carriage.

The commotion immediately attracted the attention of a nearby city guard patrol who came and started to attack the beast. The beast immediately slaughtered one of the guards with a sweeping blow of his claw followed by a gouging bite. The monster then grasped the slain guard in his mouth and flew off to enjoy his meal.

Several of the guard members approached you and started to treat your injuries. The guard stripped off your backpack so that he could bind the sizable gauges on your back. As the guard thrust the backpack aside, the flap popped open and several purses fell out. A bystander happened to notice this.

"Hey, that's my wallet! That guy stole my wallet." he exclaimed, pointing at you.

The guard captain picked up the evidence. Examining the cut purse strings he said, "Hmm, I guess these two were making some hay in all the confusion. Get him bandaged up and down to the jail house."

The town guard spoke with a few of your pickpocket victims. They put together your little scheme pretty quickly. "Well, seeing as this is your first offense," the guard captain said, "we're going to give you a chance to get off the hook. As you both know, the Gnomish Kingdoms are currently at war with East Lansing. Able-bodied recruits are getting harder and harder to come by. The Gnomish Militia has requested that we allow small timers like yourselves the option of military service rather than jail time. You'll be assigned a tour of duty of at least 5 years. Either that, or go to jail for twice that time. Your choice."

It really wasn't much of a decision. You and Bôka both agreed to join the Militia.

You were immediately shipped off to basic training for 2 months. There was a lot of marching, running and calisthenics, but as a farm boy, you were used to the hard work. You were just worried about Bôka. She seemed so exhausted every day. You slowed down a little bit on the group runs so she could keep up.

You joined the troop wrestling team and did very well, becoming the platoon champion in your weight class.

After completing basic training, you and Bôka were both selected to enter the Special Units Reconnaissance Forces (S.U.R.F.). You would both be sent to Slgrthzk for 6 months of intense training.

You received combat and stealth training. Meanwhile, Bôka was given training in the arts of disguise and illusion. Each S.U.R.F. soldier was given a special device in which to aid in the completion of his future assignment. Bôka received a special hat that could be used in navigation, weather prediction, direction and even soil sampling. You were given a special high-powered vacuum device that could also act as a blower, producing huge gusts of wind.

The next phase of your training involved intense classes on the use of your assigned device. The military's crack inventor, Tap Brthzpn would be coming in personally to conduct the classes. Tap was famous for his invention of the bassomatic several years ago.

The first classes were general training for all soldiers on maintenance issues and basic use of each of the devices. The Militia wanted all soldiers to have a basic understanding of each device, in case someone other than the primary user were forced to employ the device in an extreme situation.

These classes were brutally boring. Tap the inventor was obviously not a teacher. His monotone voice forced you to fight off sleep day after day. To top this off, the man obviously thought that everyone in the class was a complete moron. He kept repeating the most mundane details over and over as if we couldn't possibly hope to understand such complicated instructions.

One day in class, during a hands-on session, you were struggling to disassemble your device. One of the release mechanisms seemed to be stuck. Tap noticed your troubles and was immediately hovering over you. "No, no, you have to disengage the forward valve lock PRIOR to the releasing the rear hose clamp. Let me show you again." he said pushing you aside with a sigh of disgust.

As Tap pushed you away, you must have accidentally caught your sleeve on the suction engage lever. The vacuum instantly roared to life, the hose sitting on the floor just next to Tap's feet. The immense sucking force latched onto Tap's flowing cape, which hovered directly above the hose's mouth.

Tap immediately spun around, the cape now twisted around his neck, choking him. Most of the class started to erupt in laughter. You acted quickly, pressing the emergency engine stop button. But by then, the damage had already been done. Tap stepped on the hose, ripping his cloak loose. He was enraged, yelling at you, "You twit! Why don't you watch what you're doing?" He then turned and growled at the rest of the class as he went stomping out of the room, "I have better things to do than to waste anymore of my time here."

You felt horrible, but you knew it wasn't your fault. If that guy wasn't so mean, none of this would have happened. But at least he was gone. Another trainer was brought in the next day, and that was the last you heard of Tap Brthzpn.

Before too long, your training was complete. You, Bôka and two others formed a unit that was given the assignment of patrolling the southeastern Slgrthzk corridor, observing any enemy troop movement, and executing any possible subversive measures. You were quite pleased with the assignment. This particular area was a key strategic path to the gnomish capital from East Lansing. You would be seeing plenty of action.

Your group had been quite successful in your assignment. Bôka would typically scout ahead of your group, using some of the tracking capabilities of her hat to detect enemy troop movement. Then she would rejoin the group and trace the path back to the enemies' encampment. At night, the group would penetrate the camp and locate the supply tent. You would then take your vacuum, which was loaded with some kind of foul goop that the Militia had come up with, and coat the enemies supplies. The mixture coated any food and gave it a foul odor, rendering it inedible. The stuff was impossible to get off of armor or weapons and effectively rendered them useless. Using these tactics, you had reduced the enemy intrusions into gnomish territory by 25%.

Your biggest achievement by far came after about 3 years of active service. Your group was on patrol as normal when you discovered quite a large trail of enemy tracks. Bôka's took some soil samples into her hat which indicated that the tracks were fresh as of today, possibly only a couple of hours old. Further investigation revealed that the group which had made the tracks was rather large, at least 20 strong. You followed the tracks for about an hour. You felt that you were coming close to the end of the trail, when you noticed movement in the distance.

Your group approached the area where you noticed the motion. It was a gnomish patrol, which had apparently been ambushed by a squad of men from East Lansing. The gnomes were hopelessly overmatched. Your group moved into position. Bôka created an illusion of gnomish reinforcements approaching from the enemy's opposite flank. This caused the enemy to retreat right into your group's path. You took advantage of the confusion, and coated about half the enemy forces, blowing goop with great force into their faces and eyes. The East Lansing forces hastily retreated.

These actions earned both you and Bôka Militia Action Medals. This award is given to soldiers acting courageously in defense of fellow soldiers' lives. The Gnomish Prince, Isa Skbar awarded the medals to you both personally in a ceremony held in the Slgrthzk city square.

After receiving the medal, you took some time off and returned home for a visit. It had been a long time since you saw your family. You made up some kind of excuse to Bôka, you thought that meeting your family might make her sad, since her family obviously didn't care about her.

You had meant to make it home some time before this. But it was hard to get time off from the army.

The farm seemed to be doing very well. You told them about how you had run away. You didn't tell them about Lanny's group, they probably wouldn't approve. You lied and said that you had been in the army all this time. You showed them your medal and they were very proud. After a couple of days visiting, you informed your family that you had to return to the army. You said that you would try to visit as often as you could.

After your tour of duty was up, you and Bôka decided to re-enlist. The Militia had been good to you and you wished to return to service and possibly make a career out of the military. Even when the war ended, you were both retained as elite royal guardsmen due to your outstanding service.

When gnomish citizens began to disappear at an alarming rate, the Gnomish Prince again approached you. "I have decided that the situation with the missing gnomes has gotten way out of hand," he said. "The government of East Lansing has been most uncooperative in our attempts to resolve this situation. I intend to form a party that I will enter into the Great Hunt of East Lansing. Our success in this hunt will allow us a foothold into their government from which we can force rapid action to stop the kidnapping of our people. Due to your long and outstanding service to our Kingdoms, I would like to offer you the first two positions on the team. Can I count on your help?"

You both agreed to join the team. You were instructed to report back in one month for additional instructions and to meet the rest of your team members.