Characters

Bôka Phildedewea - a female gnome

As a child, you lived in the city of Slgrthzk. Your parents were both members of the Gnomish Royal Guard; the elite forces responsible for the protection of the gnomish royalty. You don't remember much about your parents, but you do remember that they were very protective of you. One particular instance which occurred a couple of months before your parents disappeared always seemed to stick with you for some reason. Every day, before heading for work, your parents would take you to school. It was unusual for gnomish children as young as you to go to school, especially when they were female, however your parents felt education was very important. Anyway, on this particular occasion, your parents were walking you to school and you had wandered ahead of them a little ways. They were sternly telling you to get back there and hold their hands. They always insisted on holding your hands. Then, an elderly gnomish lady approached you.

"Aren't you a little cutie. How would you like a cookie?" she said as she reached into her bag.

She seemed really nice. Almost like a grandma. You didn't have a grandma of your own and the other kids at school had told you how nice grandmas were. Maybe this lady could be your grandma.

Just as the grandma was pulling the cookie out of her bag and extending her hand to give it to you, your mother ran up from nowhere and slapped it out of her grasp. Your father then came up from behind and shoved the old woman to the ground.

"Why don't you take your poison somewhere else and give it to some rats or something?" bellowed your father in anger.

The woman got up from the ground brushing herself off. "You people are freaks!" she screamed with a bewildered look on her face. Then she backed away and turned around and ran as fast as her old legs would carry her.

Your father turned to explain. "You have to be careful Bôka. Some people seem nice, but you never know who may want to hurt you."

Your mother nodded and said, "Yes, but we love you and we'd never let anyone hurt you."

Along with this incident, forever etched in your memory would be the day that you first learned of your parents' disappearance. Another member of the Royal Guard, Parmi Qwrbyt, who was friends with your parents came and picked you up from school. It was several hours past the time that school had ended when he finally showed up.

You liked Parmi. He used to always come over to your house and play with you. He'd sit you on his knee and bounce you up and down all the time making horse noises. It was great fun.

"Sorry you had to wait all this time, kiddo," he said. He had a grim look on his face and you knew something was wrong. "Look, I'm really sorry, but your parents went on patrol today, and they haven't come back. We've got all our men out looking for them and I'm sure they're going to turn up real soon. For now, why don't you come down to the guard house and hang out with us."

"OK," you said. But you were worried. Your parents had always told you that they had a very dangerous job. Something bad could happen to them, but they told you not to worry, Uncle Parmi would take care of you. You hoped they were all right, but you feared the worst.

You stayed at the guardhouse for 3 days. The guards who came in periodically tried to comfort you, telling you that they had found clues and that they were on your parents' trail. You tried to remain hopeful, but you often broke into tears and could only manage a fitful sleep. The guards were working around the clock in shifts, stopping only briefly for sleep, scouring the countryside to find your parents.

After 3 days, Parmi again approached you. "I'm sorry Bôka," he said sadly "we have to give up the search. We've completely lost their trail. But they're tough people. They've been trained for this sort of thing. And if they're still out there somewhere, I know they'll be coming back for you. They love you very much, you know. But until they come back, you'll come live with me, OK?"

You didn't answer. You'd already decided late the previous evening, that they were gone for good, probably even dead. You were afraid. You'd never been away from your parents for more than a few hours until now. You didn't know what you would do.

So, you went to live with Uncle Parmi. Uncle Parmi tried really hard, but he worked long hours as a guard himself. He was always late picking you up from school and he frequently left you at home alone. Your parents never used to do that.

You started to get into trouble in school. Every once in a while you'd skip and just stay home. Often, you failed to complete your homework. You got into fights with the other kids. All these things seemed to distress Uncle Parmi.

One time when you'd skipped school and stayed home alone, you'd found a shiny dagger under Uncle Parmi's bed. You remembered that your father had had one just like it. He used to twirl it around it his hand and throw it up into the air and catch it. You tried to do it just like he did. You tossed it up into the air, but you timed the catch poorly and the sharp blade just caught the little finger on your left hand. You yelped in pain. Looking down at the wounded hand, you noticed that your pinkie finger was missing. The knife had lopped it clean off of your hand. There it was on the floor in a pool of blood.

Luckily, Uncle Parmi had just been coming home. He heard your screams of pain as he came into the house and he rushed into the bedroom. "Oh, no!" he yelled. He then quickly snatched you up off the floor, grabbed your unattached finger and rushed you to the healer down the street.

The healer said that nothing could be done to reattach your finger. But he bandaged you up and put some salve on your wound. It didn't hurt quite so bad anymore. "Vell," the healer said, "zat finger iznt too goot for much anyvay. Believe me, you vont mizz it a zingle bit."

You think this incident along with all the other trouble you were getting into must have diminished Uncle Parmi's confidence in his parenting ability, because shortly thereafter he sent you to live in the Slgrthzk orphanage. He seemed really sad about it. "Bôka, I just can't give you all the time and attention you need," you remember him saying before he took you to the orphanage. "I think you'll be much happier around these other kids your own age. I'll come and visit you all the time." While he was busy packing your things, you slipped into his bedroom, took the dagger and slid it into your boot.

Life at the orphanage was even worse than living with Uncle Parmi. No one there seemed to care about you or any of the other kids very much at all. All the caretakers would do is yell at you whenever you tried to have any fun. Then, if you continued doing whatever it was to draw their ire, then you would be sent to bed without any supper. When you thought about it, you weren't sure how much of a punishment that really was. The gruel they served in the orphanage cafeteria tasted worse than a bowl of Uncle Parmi's burnt toadstool pudding.

You often retired early to your bedroom and took your dagger out of its secret hiding place. You would then practice some of the tricks that your father used to do. You cut yourself a few times, but you were extra careful not to cut off any more fingers or anything. After all, you only had so many to go around.

One day in the cafeteria, a younger boy flicked a spoonful of gruel at you. It landed right in your hair. You think the squirt must have had a crush on you or something. Retaliation was definitely in the works. You proceeded to take your entire bowl of gruel and dump it on this head. He began to cry loudly. Of course, one of the old women came running out of the kitchen to catch you red-handed. You would be sentenced to a month of kitchen duty.

That whole incident did it for you. You could no longer tolerate life at the orphanage. You made the decision that you had to get out of there. There was no way you were doing dishes for a month. You would run away that evening.

It was pretty easy actually. You waited until everyone was asleep. There was usually some old fat guy who watched the door at night. You watched from a distance, hiding in the shadows until he wandered off. He probably had to go to the bathroom or something. Then you walked right out the front door. You doubted if anyone even missed you until the morning.

Well, now that you were out of there, you had to figure out what you were going to do now. You really hadn't planned this whole thing very well. You guessed the thing to do was to head into town. Maybe you could find someplace to sleep in the park. Then you could figure out what to do next in the morning.

By the time you reached the park, you were pretty tired. You curled up in some grass under a big oak tree and fell soundly asleep. You woke up in the morning with no more of an idea of what you were going to do than you did last night. You were sure the people from the orphanage would be looking for you by now. They were probably combing the city by now. You had to be careful not to get caught.

You had to think. What should you do now? You found a park bench. You sat down and watched some of the people wandering through the park. No ideas immediately came to you. You were still pretty tired from the excitement of the previous evening. Soon, you fell fast asleep.

When you woke up, the sun was just starting to set. Apparently, you had slept all afternoon long. You were pretty hungry. How were you going to eat? Maybe this running away thing wasn't such a good idea after all. Then you saw a man walking in your general direction. You ducked behind a tree. This guy didn't look like anyone from the orphanage. He didn't seem to be looking for anyone. Maybe... Well, you guessed anything was worth a try at that point. You approached the man. "Hey mister," you said, putting on your best sad and hungry face. "I'm pretty hungry. Do you have anything I could eat?"

The man looked at you pitifully. "There you go kid," he said handing you a coin as he walked away.

That wasn't so hard. You looked at the coin. It was a copper piece. It wasn't enough for a meal, but it was a start at least.

So, you sat and waited for someone else to approach. The park wasn't really crowded, so this was going to take a while. A couple of hours later, you had earned 2 more copper pieces. You figured 5 were probably enough to get you something decent to eat. It was starting to get late and most of the people in the park had left. It was beginning to look as though you would have to go hungry tonight.

Then, you saw someone else approaching. The person was pretty small. It was a kid. You were pretty desperate at this point. Maybe it was a rich kid.

"Hey kid," you said walking towards him. "Do you have any money you could spare? I haven't eaten all day." You got a good look at the kid for the first time. He didn't look that much better off than you.

"Do I look like I have any money to spare?" the kid said, beginning to laugh.

You began to cry. You were awfully hungry and this whole thing just was not working out like you'd thought. Maybe you would just go back to the orphanage and face the music.

"Hey, that's not bad," the kid said. "You could really make that crying thing work for ya'. Some of the old timers around here really go for that teary-eyed stuff."

You took your hands away from your face and looked up at him, completely bewildered. "What do you

mean, 'work for me'?" you said.

"Well," he said, "you must have run away from home, right?"

"Yes," you admitted, "how'd you know?"

"Why else would you be out here alone in the middle of the night asking me for money?" he said. "I did it myself once, I know. Anyways, there's this guy named Lancaster, we call him Lanny, and he gives us a place to live and food to eat. There's a group of us kids, runaways and orphans. Lanny lets us all live with him. All we have to do is work for him."

"What kind of work do you do?" you asked.

"Oh, it's really easy stuff," he said. "Sometimes we beg for money, like you were just doing. But we've got some special tricks that Lanny taught us. You get more money that way. Sometimes we cause a commotion on a busy street so some of the older kids can pick people's pockets. It's really a lot of fun. Look, maybe I can get you in."

You didn't know whether to trust this kid or not. Maybe he was working for the orphanage and he was going to lead you into a trap. "I don't know," you stammered.

"Look, I know this place we can go. Sometimes, I sneak over when I want to get away from the group. It's an abandoned building. I got some food stashed there and a mat you can sleep on. Come on, what else you gonna do?"

He was right. You were starving and you really didn't have anywhere else to go, unless you went back to the orphanage. That thought didn't really appeal to you. You guessed you'd have to trust this kid for now. "OK," you said. "But I'm just going to think about it."

"Good enough," said the kid. "Since were going to be roomies for the night, I ought to at least know your name. I'm Chord. Chord Kryzzlswitch."

"My name is Bôka Phildedewea," you replied.

So, he took you over to his place. It was kind of a wreck, but it was better than sleeping outside in the cold. He produced the food he had promised you from his hiding place. He didn't even try to stop you from seeing where he hid his stuff. You had some dried meat and fruit. It wasn't much, but it was still much better than the gruel they served back at the orphanage.

"Why'd you run away from home?" Chord asked while you were eating.

This kid was asking too many questions. You thought it might have been a mistake to tell him your real name. "Well, my parents, they used to beat me," you lied. "See this," you said thrusting your left hand, the one with the missing finger, into his face. "They cut off my pinkie finger just because I tried to take a cookie from an old lady one time."

"Geez," Chord gasped. "That's pretty bad. Look you gotta join our group. You can't go back to that."

"Maybe," you said, "I'll think it over and let you know in the morning."

You slept fitfully that night, your hand poised next to your boot, ready to grab your dagger if necessary. You thought maybe you should grab this kid's stash and make a run for it. You decided against that. If this kid really wasn't from the orphanage, and he was really just trying to be nice to you, that would be a pretty mean thing to do. You would just have to wait and be careful.

You did manage to get a couple of hours sleep just before dawn. You woke up with Chord gently shaking your arm.

"Hey, Bôka," he said. "Look, what d'ya' say? I can take you over to meet Lanny now."

You thought about it briefly. This kid really didn't seem like he worked for the orphanage. If he were going to turn you in, he probably would have done it by now. "OK. I've decided to go. But if it's no good, I'm leaving," you said.

So you joined the group. Later you learned that the group called themselves Lanny's Freeloaders. It seems that Lanny started bribing several of the local guards to look the other way when the group was pulling off its scams. One time, when they met Lanny to collect, one of the men asked, "Hey, where's your bunch of little freeloaders?" Lanny thought this was pretty funny and he started referring to all the kids as his freeloaders. The kids all liked it too, so the name stuck.

You and Chord had started to become pretty close friends. You were beginning to spend a lot of time together. Some of the other boys in the group didn't seem to like all the time Chord was now spending with you. They started to tease him about it. For the most part, he really didn't seem to mind all the teasing. He seemed to just take it in stride.

You only saw him get really mad one time. One day, the two of you were walking in the park. Some of the boys came right up to you and started to wave. "Hi, Bôka," they said, laughing. They were all waving with their pinkie fingers bent down, making fun of your missing finger. "How you doing today, Pinkie?" one of them said.

This enraged Chord. He grabbed the waving hand of the kid who had just called you Pinkie and twisted it around his back. He then thrust it upward, forcing the kid to the ground. The kid groaned in pain, his howls muffled by the dirt that his face was pressed into. "I oughta rip off your finger, then you can see how it feels for yourself," Chord growled at the helpless kid.

"Hey, I'm sorry gnome. I was just kidding around," said the kid, struggling to get free.

Chord then released the kid. He just stood there, glaring down at him as the kid got up dusting himself off. The kid didn't even look up at Chord. He immediately went running over to join the rest of his friends. Needless to say, this kid never again teased you or Chord.

Life as one of Lanny's freeloaders was really starting to grow on you. You had learned all the tricks of pandering, putting on dirty, ripped clothing, fake crying, sucking in your face to look thinner. You were really pretty pathetic. Over the next few years, you became one of the biggest money producers for Lanny.

But as you started to get older, you weren't nearly as pathetic looking. Your little girlish cuteness was beginning to give way to the looks of a young woman. Some of the older kids, who were there when you first joined the group had begun to leave and make lives on their own as they approached adulthood. It wasn't long before you and Chord were the oldest members left in the group.

Lanny realized that the begging thing just wasn't working out for you and Chord anymore. He had begun to train you both in some of the finer arts of thievery. One of the first things you learned was picking pockets. Chord was actually really good at this. He practiced constantly. You were pretty good yourself, too. Lanny taught you that you improved your chances on a prospective pick if the guy was first distracted somehow.

You and Chord worked this scheme to perfection. One of you would approach a man with a fat pouch. You would then pretend to be lost and ask for directions somewhere. While the victim was explaining how to get to wherever, you or Chord would sneak up behind and cut his purse strings.

Lanny suggested a much better idea for a distraction. He knew a few illusion spells that he could teach you. One of you could give a little magic show while the other one sneaked through the crowd and picked a few pockets. Lanny started to teach both of you the art of spellcasting. However, Chord just really didn't seem to have the mind for it. He hadn't attended school and could not read or write very well. He knew a few words, but he just couldn't make out some of the intricate phrases used in the incantations.

Meanwhile, you seemed to have quite a penchant for spellcasting. You picked it up immediately, although you had to work hard to overcome the missing finger. With a few weeks under Lanny's tutelage, you could cast some of the simpler illusions. You could certainly do enough to distract a crowd now.

The scam worked exactly as planned. Your dancing illusionary bird dazzled the crowd as Chord cleaned house. This was the most profitable idea yet. You had run this little scam a few times throughout the city with quite a bit of success. You were afraid that the people of the city and the guard might have been starting to catch on to your scheme. So, you decided to take the show on the road. The two of you would head towards some of the smaller villages west of Slgrthzk.

The plan worked in these villages just as well as it did in the city. You had hit 3 so far and were making a killing. You had traveled west for a couple of days and now you were way out in the sticks. There was one more small village out on the Western Reaches of the Gnomish Kingdoms that you would hit, then you would make your way back.

The show seemed to be going as usual when suddenly, appearing from behind a nearby grove of trees was the most hideous sight you had ever seen. It was a winged beast with huge claws and fangs, a pointed tail and two viciously sharp horns atop his head. People in the crowd started panicking, trampling each other in the attempt to get out of the monster's path.

The beast seemed to be headed straight towards you. You were frozen with fear. The next thing you knew, you were face down on the ground, Chord on top of you, shielding you from its razor like claws. You felt Chord wincing in pain as the monster swooped down and raked its claws across his back.

The commotion immediately attracted the attention of a nearby city guard patrol who came and started to attack the beast. The beast immediately slaughtered one of the guards with a sweeping blow of his claw followed by a gouging bite. The monster then grasped the slain guard in his mouth and flew off to enjoy his meal.

Several of the guard members approached Chord to treat his injuries. The guard stripped off Chord's backpack so that he could bind the sizable gouges on his back. As the guard thrust the backpack aside, the flap popped open and several purses fell out. A bystander happened to notice this.

"Hey, that's my wallet! That guy stole my wallet", he exclaimed, pointing at Chord.

The guard captain picked up the evidence. Examining the cut purse strings he said, "Hmm, I guess these two were making some hay in all the confusion. Get him bandaged up and down to the jail house."

The town guard spoke with a few of Chord's pickpocket victims. They put together your little scheme pretty quickly. "Well, seeing as this is your first offense," the guard captain said, "we're going to give you a chance to get off the hook. As you both know, the Gnomish Kingdoms are currently at war with East Lansing. Able-bodied recruits are getting harder and harder to come by. The Gnomish Militia has requested that we allow small timers, like yourselves, the option of military service rather than jail time. You'll be assigned a tour of duty of at least 5 years. Either that, or go to jail for twice that time. Your choice."

It really wasn't much of a decision. You and Chord both agreed to join the Militia.

You were immediately shipped off to basic training for 2 months. Each day was grueling. After miles of marching, running and calisthenics, it was all you could do to eat a little dinner and slither into bed. But your stamina began to build. It wasn't too long before you could almost keep up with Chord on the daily run.

He was really amazing. All this exhausting training didn't phase him at all. From day one, he was leading the pack on all the runs. He had incredible endurance and was an amazing athlete as well. He excelled in wrestling, becoming the platoon champion in his weight class.

The two months of basic training, although mentally difficult and physically draining, were actually very rewarding for you. You gained a sense of accomplishment and confidence that you had never felt before.

You and Chord were both selected to enter the Special Units Reconnaissance Forces (S.U.R.F.). You would both be sent to Slgrthzk for 6 months of intense training.

You were given training in the arts of disguise and illusion. Meanwhile, Chord received combat and stealth training. Each S.U.R.F. soldier was given a special device in which to aid in the completion of his future assignment. You received a special hat, which could be used in navigation, weather prediction, direction and even soil sampling. Chord was given a special high-powered vacuum device, which could also act as a blower, producing huge gusts of wind.

The next phase of your training involved intense classes on the use of your assigned device. The military's crack inventor, Tap Brthzpn would be coming in personally to conduct the classes. Tap was famous for his invention of the bassomatic several years ago. You were very interested in any insight you could get on advanced applications for the hat.

The first classes were general training for all soldiers on maintenance issues and basic use of each of the devices. The Militia wanted all soldiers to have a basic understanding of each device, in case someone other than the primary user was forced to employ the device in an extreme situation.

These classes were brutally boring. Tap the inventor was obviously not a teacher. His monotone voice forced you to fight off sleep day after day. To top this off, the man obviously thought that everyone in the class was a complete moron. He kept repeating the most mundane details over and over as if you couldn't possibly hope to understand such complicated instructions.

One day in class, during a hands-on session, Chord was struggling to disassemble his device. Apparently, one of the release mechanisms was stuck. Tap noticed his troubles and was immediately hovering over him. "No, no, you have to disengage the forward valve lock PRIOR to the releasing the rear hose clamp. Let me show you again." he said pushing Chord aside with a sigh of disgust.

As Tap pushed him away, Chord accidentally caught his sleeve on the suction engage lever. The vacuum instantly roared to life, the hose sitting on the floor just next to Tap's feet. The immense sucking force latched onto Tap's flowing cape which hovered directly above the hose's mouth.

Tap immediately spun around, the cape now twisted around his neck, choking him. Most of the class started to erupt in laughter. Chord acted quickly, pressing the emergency engine stop button. But by then, the damage had already been done. Tap stepped on the hose, ripping his cloak loose. He was enraged, yelling at Chord, "You twit! Why don't you watch what you're doing?" He then turned and growled at the rest of the class as he went stomping out of the room, "I have better things to do than to waste anymore of my time here."

Another trainer was brought in the next day, and that was the last you heard of Tap Brthzpn.

Before too long, your training was complete. You, Chord and two others formed a unit which was given the assignment of patrolling the southeastern Slgrthzk corridor, observing any enemy troop movement, and executing any possible subversive measures. You were quite pleased with the assignment. This particular area was a key strategic path to the gnomish capital from East Lansing. You would be seeing plenty of action.

Your group had been quite successful in your assignment. You would typically scout ahead of your group, using some of the tracking capabilities of the hat to detect enemy troop movement. Then you would rejoin the group and trace the path back to the enemies' encampment. At night, the group would penetrate the camp and locate the supply tent. Chord would then take his vacuum, which was loaded with some kind of foul goop that the Militia had come up with, and coat the enemies supplies. The mixture coated any food and gave it a foul odor, rendering it inedible. The stuff was impossible to get off of armor or weapons and effectively rendered them useless. Using these tactics, you had reduced the enemy intrusions into gnomish territory by 25%.

Your biggest achievement by far came after about 3 years of active service. Your group was on patrol as normal when you discovered quite a large trail of enemy tracks. The hat's soil sampling indicated that the tracks were fresh as of today, possibly only a couple of hours old. Further investigation revealed that the group which had made the tracks was rather large, at least 20 strong. You followed the tracks for about an hour. You felt that you were coming close to the end of the trail, when you noticed movement in the distance.

Your group approached the area where you noticed the motion. It was a gnomish patrol that had apparently been ambushed by a squad of men from East Lansing. The gnomes were hopelessly overmatched. Your group moved into position. You created an illusion of gnomish reinforcements approaching from the enemy's opposite flank. This caused the enemy to retreat right into your group's path. Chord took advantage of the confusion, and coated about half the enemy forces, blowing goop with great force into their faces and eyes. The East Lansing forces hastily retreated.

These actions earned both you and Chord Militia Action Medals. This award is given to soldiers acting courageously in defense of fellow soldiers' lives. The Gnomish Prince, Isa Skbar awarded the medals to you both personally in a ceremony held in the Slgrthzk city square.

After your tour of duty was up, you and Chord decided to reenlist. The Militia had been good to you and you wished to return to service and possibly make a career out of the military. Even when the war ended, you were both retained as elite royal guardsmen due to your outstanding service.

When gnomish citizens began to disappear at an alarming rate, the Gnomish Prince again approached you. "I have decided that the situation with the missing gnomes has gotten way out of hand," he said. "The government of East Lansing has been most uncooperative in our attempts to resolve this situation. I intend to form a party, which I will enter into the Great Hunt of East Lansing. Our success in this hunt will allow us a foothold into their government from which we can force rapid action to stop the kidnapping of our people. Due to your long and outstanding service to our Kingdom, I would like to offer you the first two positions on the team. Can I count on your help?"

You both agreed to join the team. You were instructed to report back in one month for additional instructions and to meet the rest of your team members.