Why Books are Better than Drugs

I was at the local bookstore once and had a fun conversation with the sales clerk. It started with me commenting on the fact that I work to support my book habit. We came up with reasons why a book addiction is better than other addictions...

  1. When you're pulled over for a traffic violation, you don't have to quickly hide the books lying on your back seat.
  2. When your parents come over to visit, you don't have to worry about them recognizing the reading paraphernalia on your coffee table.
  3. While it is not safe to read and drive, mere seconds after you stop reading, you are back to full capacity.
  4. If you get a bad batch of books, they won't make you sick (well, maybe a little, but not seriously).
  5. Books are non-carcinogenic.
  6. If you don't pay off your local book dealer, chances are all he'll send to your door is a nasty letter.
  7. Your date won't be able to smell the books on your clothes.
  8. Reading more than one book in a sitting won't cause strange interactions.
  9. Your paperback will still respect you in the morning.
  10. Not one person has been subjected to a body-cavity search for smuggling books across the border.
  11. There are places in every city where you can get your book fix for free.
  12. There are currently no laws preventing the creation and/or distribution of books.
  13. Books can be used over and over again.
  14. The President of the United States hasn't declared a "war on books" (yet, anyway).

Want to suggest more?

Thanks to: retinaburn and reshippie from Kuro5hin and Bonni for their suggestions.

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This page is entirely the fault of S A Rudy, and she's not at all sorry.
last update: 25-Sep-01